On the Coast – Over 55 Issue 32 I November/December 2019(clone) | Page 14
hope at Christmas
Finding
O
ne thing that every community
worker knows well is that
Christmas is anything but a
festive season for many people. In fact,
support services across the Central Coast
experience a steep increase in demand
for assistance around the holiday period.
The expectation of creating the ‘perfect’
Christmas can take a heavy physical,
emotional and financial toll.
There are many reasons why
Christmas can be an especially tough
season. It can be a lonely time for those
who are widowed, divorced or otherwise
separated from their loved ones. Some
families manage to gather together but
there are tensions simmering beneath
the cheerful surface. And many parents
and grandparents feel pressured to spend
beyond their means on gifts. It’s a recipe
for stress, hardship and even despair. But
with a little planning, there are some
straightforward ways to reduce stress
and generate hope.
Set clear boundaries and enforce them
Much of the stress and unhappiness
around Christmas boils down to
unrealistic expectations. These can come
from family members, social circles or
even from within ourselves. Remember
that just because Christmas looked a
certain way in the past doesn’t mean
every tradition must be maintained
forever.
Let family members know beforehand
if gift giving needs to be restricted
or set aside for financial reasons.
Consider a system where each family
member buys just one present for one
other designated person. If you can,
set money aside throughout the year
to avoid unpleasant bill shocks in the
new year.
If you are hosting a Christmas
meal, request that each guest take
responsibly for one item to help spread
the cost and the work of preparation
and clean-up. If possible, rotate hosting
duties around different segments of
the family each year.
Many people feel pressured to ‘soldier
on’ no matter what during tense
Christmas gatherings. If conflict
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ON T H E C OA S T – OV ER 5 5
ADRIENNE GARSIDE
occurs, remind yourself that you have
the right to leave situations that feel
stressful or unsafe. If possible, have
a supportive person on hand to talk
through any upset that holiday events
may cause.
Connect with others, and with yourself
It’s hard to stay hopeful if you shut
yourself off physically or emotionally
over Christmas. You don’t have to
manage a packed social calendar but
staying in touch with other people has
enormous health benefits, especially for
older people. The upside of Christmas
is there are plentiful opportunities to
connect with those around you.
Summon support: Feelings of grief,
loss and loneliness often intensify over
the holidays. Schedule time with a family
member, friend or counsellor to discuss
the best ways to manage these difficult
emotions. Contact loved ones by phone or
letter to remind them (and yourself) why
they are special to you.
Uplift others: It is almost impossible
to focus on your own woes while you
are helping someone else. Contact
For crisis counselling
24 hours a day,
7 days a week, call
Lifeline on 13 11 14
local support services – churches and
neighbourhood centres for example – to
find out what Christmas appeals are
happening in your area. Whether you
serve food at a homeless shelter or sing
carols at a nursing home, the important
thing is to share your time and skills with
other people.
Take time to reflect: At Christmas
time, it’s natural to think back over the
ups and downs of the year gone by.
Make a list of the things you are proud
of and grateful for. Forgive yourself for
your mistakes – they are part of being
human. Think about what you would
like to achieve in the new year. Take a
deep breath and remember that there’s
no such thing as a ‘perfect’ Christmas
anyway. Exhale.
Adrienne Garside works for Iris Foundation, a charity that aims to reduce the risk of suicide on the
Central Coast. The Foundation achieves this by facilitating and supporting awareness campaigns,
programs and partnerships which enhance community connectedness and well-being. For more
information, please visit: www.irisfoundation.org.au.