On the Coast – Families Issue 95 I August/September 2018 | Page 21

STEP 4 OF 5 – Emotional Intelligence
Recently I had the privilege of attending
a Christmas In July celebration in the
NSW town of Orange. The crunch of frost
covered grass combined with a picture-
perfect backdrop of white landscape only
exaggerated the beauty of this family
get-together. Kris Kringle gifts had been
purchased and presented in festive
wrapping (no more than $10, it must start
with the first letter of the person’s name
and the gift was not to be a food. This soon
removed M&M’s and Jelly Beans from the
list!) Bon Bons on the lunch tables added to
the atmosphere, connection and humour
shared.
With family living interstate and with
the ups and down’s that life must distribute
as the years progress, our gathering was
a purposefully designed homecoming to
foster happiness, belonging, connection,
support and perhaps a new a tradition.
The date was confirmed, accommodation
booked, and transport organised. We all
made it. Well, almost…
One family had a vomiting child only
days prior. A second family had a flight
cancelled at 10:00pm and an accidental
broken bone in family number three meant
surgery and the need for two members
to remain home. Lucky for me, my family
was the only one who managed a fuss-free
lead up and transition into this weekend
celebration!
As I’m certain you can imagine, an
event like this – anticipation, gathering
of mixed ages and interests, travel and
fatigue – can heighten emotions. While
we chuckled as my brother recounted his
four-year-old verbalising at 2:00am, “I
don’t know why I’m crying”, this statement
immediately piqued my ‘teacher’ brain. As
early childhood educators our days involve
moment after moment of scaffolding and
supporting the emotional development of
the young children in our care. It is not only
the children we aim to support however,
it is the adults in our world too – the
teachers and parents!
Emotional intelligence has gained much
deserved attention over recent years with
reports claiming it is this intelligence, as
opposed to academic intelligence, which
will have the greatest impact on life
success. Emotional Intelligence refers to
the ability to perceive, control, evaluate
and express emotions (Cherry 2017).
While at 2:00 o’clock in the morning
my niece was demonstrating a great
aware ness of her feelings, the ability to
label fatigue as her reason for her tearful
moment was not as forthcoming. I know
every mother who has ever been over-
tired and over-whelmed can appreciate
my niece’s lack of verbal clarity at this
time! Very understandable and extremely
excusable. As the weekend of family
connection continued, I witnessed many
instances of unintentional emotional
intelligence unfolding. As two siblings
embraced, one allowing the tears to flow,
the other welcoming them, explanations
were shared in comforting tones,
recognising recent experiences had taken
an emotional, physical and mental impact
on emotions and resiliency levels. I couldn’t
have scripted these tender moments
of mature emotional intelligence better
if I had tried and the bonus is, without
knowing or intent, an energy and action
was being modelled for the nearby children
to experience, assimilate and learn from.
This is our role as adults in the world
of children. To explore our own ability to
perceive, control, evaluate and positively
express our feelings so we may continue to
develop our emotional intelligence. Being
emotionally intelligent does not equate to
only experiencing emotions such as joy or
happiness. To be emotionally intelligent,
we are required to experience and explore
a range of emotions, including sadness,
hurt, depression, anger and fear to name
a few. We are human. We get sick, run
down, fatigued and we over-commit, any
of which can easily lessen our ability to
function at our most capable emotional
level. The significance lies with the ability to
recognise, action and communicate these
emotions. This is the greatest resource
we can give our children. The ability to
model emotionally intelligent adults so
they may explore and develop these skills
themselves.
As you continue with your day, I
encourage you to become aware of your
emotions. Acknowledge them as they
come, notice how they present in your
body, consider what they could represent
and most importantly, decide how these
emotions could best be expressed. This
conscious process will support both
yourself and your child to continue to lean
into growing emotional intelligence. In a
world where anxiety and depression are
increasing in occurrence and in the young,
emotional intelligence is a pivotal step in
building resiliency.
Enjoy, Catherine Schasser
AUGUST/SEPTEMBER – ISSUE 95
21