On the Coast – Families Issue 95 I August/September 2018 | Page 16

There is something not quite right
but I keep getting told he’s just shy,
sensitive or a typical boy By Nicole Ennis-Oakes
J
oanne* married and had her first child by age 23. The year was 2000
and Benjamin* was a quiet, sweet natured baby. For this first-time
parent, the word autism didn’t mean much.
becoming more and more anxious. He
As an only child for the first six years of
always wanted to know details such
his life, Benjamin interacted primarily
as where they were going,
with adults. He didn’t seem to need
who would be there and
to play with peers. Everyone thought
how long would they
he was “so smart and mature,” yet he
stay? He wasn’t sleeping
struggled with paying attention and the
much, his eating was
smallest things would lead to the biggest
finicky and he still
meltdowns. Joanne and her husband just
never seemed to fit in
knew what triggered these meltdowns
comfortably with other
and so simply set their lives up to
children. Benjamin’s
avoid these triggers. The meltdowns
school psychologist had
mostly happened at home anyway and
conducted an IQ, academic and
after a time they had learned what
ADHD assessment whereby results
calmed Benjamin down. When Joanne
were all within the average range.
questioned Benjamin’s paediatrician and
No cognitive problems, no attention
teachers about these behaviours, they
they are in late primary
problems at school and no learning
told Joanne this was just his personality
school. Many go undiagnosed until they
problems. After completing a six-month-
and that he was just a “typical boy”,
are in their teens or indeed adulthood,
long anxiety intervention resulting in
“shy/sensitive” or an “only child”. Family
whereby they have missed years of
little improvement, the psychologist
would suggest that perhaps “he got away
incredibly important autism-specific
suggested that Benjamin undergo an
with a little too much…”
interventions. This is especially common
autism assessment. Joanne assured the
Six years later, Joanne’s second son
in girls.
psychologist that this was not necessary
Dylan was born. “When Dylan was
Benjamin’s assessment identified
as she saw none of the traits
born, I definitely knew he was
autism, and the appropriate autism
of Dylan in Benjamin
different,” Joanne said.
interventions were implemented, which
(with the exception of
“Everything was delayed.
Everyone thought
have made a significant improvement
anxiety). Besides, the
He didn’t babble, he
he was “so smart and
to Benjamin’s social skills, emotional
paediatrician and
didn’t crawl until
regulation skills and overall quality of
teachers would have
late, and then he
mature,” yet he struggled
life. Joanne advises parents to get the ball
picked this up by now,
really just dragged
with paying attention and
rolling when they “feel it in their gut that
wouldn’t they?
his body along.”
the smallest things would
something isn’t right.” Joanne believes
The answer is NOT
Dylan’s paediatrician
she and many others have wasted time
ALWAYS.
Many
of
completed a
lead to the biggest
“guessing” and advocates finding help as
the less known or less
developmental
meltdowns
soon as possible. It is true that parents
obvious traits of autism
evaluation and he was
know their child best, and if you feel that
often go undetected for
diagnosed with autism at 30
something just isn’t quite right with your
years as they mimic or share
months.
child and their development, never feel
the same traits of well known childhood
Joanne’s concerns about Benjamin
guilty or overbearing about continuing to
disorders such as Attention Deficit
continued however, and whilst the signs
seek an answer for your concerns. You
Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and
of autism were obvious in Dylan, she
are, after all, your child’s most adored
anxiety disorders. As a result, a child
realised not all boys acted like Benjamin,
and trusted advocate.
with autism may go undiagnosed until
saying, “My nephews weren’t like him
and nor were the boys who played in his
soccer teams over the years.” Eventually,
Nicole is a registered psychologist with an interest in children and developmental psychology with
advanced skills in the assessment and diagnosis of autism spectrum disorders, and intellectual and
in 2008, Joanne took Benjamin to a
developmental disorders. Having worked as part of a child and adolescent multi-disciplinary mental
psychologist, as he had started to fall
health team for over five years.
behind in school and was generally
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KI DZ O N T H E C OA S T