On the Coast – Families Issue 94 I June/July 2018 | Page 45

I decided NO MORE. I am going to
listen to HER needs. I am going to co-sleep
safely, I am going to baby wear, I am going
to hold her as much as she needs me to.
Because this is her expectation of me. I
was no longer going to adhere to MY
expectations. Societies expectations.
I personally had had ENOUGH.
All infants have been jostled about in
utero, carried, nurtured and warm. All of
their needs have been met for nine
months. Why then once earth side do we
feel that they need to ASK us by crying
out for what they need? They simply
shouldn’t have to. New babies need the
fourth trimester to acclimatise to their
new world. Therefore, their expected
place is always within arms, and at the
breast, this is their inmost sense of place.
This will always fulfil all of their needs
and also help to contribute to their
development.
Strong and secure attachment is vital
to your baby’s development. You can
build attachment by learning to read
your baby’s signals and knowing how to
best respond to your baby’s needs.
Babies have different attachment
behaviour to show different needs. To
show they need attention, for example,
young babies might:
ƒ ƒ smile at you, or make eye contact –
babies love to look into your eyes
ƒ ƒ make little noises, such as coos or
laughs
ƒ ƒ crawl after you or hold out their arms
ƒ ƒ copy your gestures
ƒ ƒ look relaxed and interest ed
ƒ ƒ cry.
To show when they need a break or
perhaps a different, gentler approach,
young babies might:
ƒ ƒ look away, shut their eyes or yawn
ƒ ƒ try to struggle or pull away
ƒ ƒ look tense and unsettled
ƒ ƒ cry.
By the age of two your child has
gained a more practical understanding
of their world. They are then coming
to understand that things (including
their mum and dad) continue to exist
even when they are out of view. Their
expectations will change again (and most
likely far earlier than two).
Every child is always going to try
to make sense of their world. They are
putting the pieces together. “Mum holds
me, she feeds me and nurtures me. Dad
plays with me, he holds me and nurtures
me too.” These are their very simplistic
expectations. Ironically these are ours as
adults too.
As parents it is up to us to show
our babies and our children that those
expectations they hold dear, their
instincts and their needs are healthy, and
more then OK to have. We need to show
them this and support their healthy
expectations because as adults we expect
these foundations in our lives too, so why
can’t our children expect the same?
Nikki Smith is a Registered Nurse and a Qualified Child and Family Nurse. A mama of three beautiful
daughters with a strong belief in raising our children consciously and intuitively. Nikki is passionate
about wholistic post partum care and education, her workshops focus on you feeling empowered,
knowledgeable and gaining essential tools for you and your family during the post partum period when
bringing your new baby home. Nikki also offers interactive workshops on how you can better “Tune” into
your Toddler positively and gently. Nikki’s workshops are available here on the Central Coast as well as
online @ www.earthwayparenting.com.au
Do you want to
get healthy
in pregnancy?
Get FREE help and support with:
• achieving & maintaining a healthy weight
• healthy eating
• ideas to stay active .
You will receive 10 free coaching phone
calls at a time that suits you from your
own personal health coach for 6 months.
Speak to your midwife, obstetrician or
GP for a referral.
JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 94
45