Connecting and healing young children through play
by Lindie Nell
We all love our children. The question is do they know that? Maybe your child knows you love them, but do they know that you also really, really LIKE them.
To show our children we love( and like) them we need to give them our TIME. One of the most crucial ways children measure our love and interest in them, is by asking.“ Is mummy playing with me?”
As adults our world consists of work, parenting, stress, shopping, exercise, laundry, finances, planning, being a partner and so much more. A child may have a few responsibilities but mostly their world consists of play, fun and laughter. Visualise the following: You are taking your child to the shops, focusing on your shopping list and deciding what to make for dinner. You get lost in your own world and before you know it your child has kicked into play- detectivemode thinking How can I organise some fun and play in this boring adult world? To your horror you see your son going down the isle on a broomstick, galloping away on his‘ horse’ and bumping into all the toilet paper rolls protecting his Kingdom. Perhaps you may be at the library, looking through some books, and find your daughter has built herself a book castle and is now singing‘ let it go’ at the top of her lungs. Can we blame them? A child’ s world is about PLAY. If there is nothing to play with they will create play.
Sharing the world with adults is part of a child’ s reality and they need to spend some time in the‘ adult world’. But we as parents really need to make the time to connect with our children by entering their world, meeting them where they are and joining in with what they are doing / playing. The moment we do that, our children will experience connection and learn to trust us in their world.( Interestingly, the more we have these moments with them the more our children will comply with our rules during that inevitable trip to the shopping mall.)
Most parents know that children learn through play. It develops their imagination, creativity, confidence and social skills. However, young children also use play to communicate and to make sense of their world. Children voice their feelings through play. It is a tool for them to talk about their day and their worries. If you want to know your child and understand what is going on in their world, start playing with them. You will be surprised about what secrets you may discover. You will learn about your child’ s feelings of joy, hope, anger and fear all while connecting with them.
Many parents are curious about ways to play with their children. It is recommended parents set aside a minimum of 30 minutes per week or 10 – 15 minutes daily to play with their child. This creates a‘ special time’ for the child where they receive undivided attention from their parent. One way of playing with children is through adultled play. For example, the parent can introduce certain toys to play with and encourage the child to join in. There are many variations and different types of play you can get involved in with your child, for example, imaginary play, ball play, rough and tumble play, outside play, educational play, sensory play, nurturing play and creative play. These activities also encourage parents and children to work together and will support the development of a secure attachment.
However, I would like to introduce you to child directed play. Child directed play is one-on-one play interaction between parent and child where the child directs
28 KIDZ ON THE COAST