Developing Dreams
Developing Dreams
Developing Wellbeing:
Developing Dreams
STEP 2 OF 5 Happiness!“ Fostering empowerment in children, educators and families by learned optimism, cultivating happiness, and building resiliency” Welcome to Step Two of Five strategies designed to support the creation of wellbeing in your child’ s and your own life. In step one( last edition of Kidz On The Coast magazine) we discussed Belonging. Today we are looking into Happiness!
Life is not always going to give you roses. It can provide you with such joy your heart melts or cheeks hurt from smiling, but it can also provide you with challenge, heartbreak and loss. This is inevitable and a reality that is important not only to know, but to acknowledge. Not only to acknowledge but to assimilate. Not only to assimilate, but to plan for as best as possible. The quote by Buddhist Monk Mattheiu Ricard explains this succinctly and is completely relevant to cultivating and acknowledging happiness in your life. Ricard believes‘ happiness is a way of being that gives you the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life’.
‘ Happy people’ are not happy all of the time. They experience a full range of emotions which further promote their wellbeing. They live whole-heartedly and FEEL. If Ricard’ s statement about happiness is true, what resources support the labelling of‘ happiness’ throughout one’ s life? The answering of this question is pivotal in fostering empowerment in children and families. Dr Tim Sharp from the Happiness Institute suggests several beneficial strategies when times are challenging such as accessing support, maintaining perspective, living a healthy lifestyle and one of my favourites, accepting the world is full of imperfect people and imperfective events! Take the time now to reflect on your thoughts and behaviours. What challenges you the most, or in other words, what do you believe prevents your happiness? After spending a moment considering the factors in your life, now turn inwards to your thoughts. What are you making these situations mean?
Your mind is a powerful tool and as Victor Frankl believes, the‘ last human freedom’ as he refers to one’ s ability to choose one’ s thoughts in any set of circumstances.
As suggested, happiness is a key component of wellbeing – but that appears obvious doesn’ t it? Surely one must be happy to be well! This is where I must clarify, when referring to wellbeing, this is not limited to one area of ourselves, but to many moulded together. As Martin Seligman, author of Flourish, would emphasise, when considering‘ wellbeing’, think‘ flourishing’. What evidence would you need to believe your child was flourishing? From an early childhood perspective, educators would view a child as having a strong sense of wellbeing when they show signs of positive feelings of belonging, happiness, engagement / flow, emotional intelligence and gratitude / appreciation. Physical wellbeing moulds with emotional wellbeing, which moulds with spiritual wellbeing and so on and so forth. For instance, a child may be excelling in a sport at a very high representative level, so appear to be flourishing. If, however, they are disconnected from relationships, dependent on achievement / results and lack significant moments of joy, would it be accurate to label this child as an example of wellbeing? They may be physically flourishing, but not flourishing holistically, and this after all, is the goal for all children … and each adult!
In the context of being a mother, your own inner happiness and contentment are the greatest gifts you can give your child. Remember Ricard’ s quote?‘ Happiness is a way of being that gives you the resources to deal with the ups and downs of life’.
Let’ s agree now, life is going to contain challenge. It will give you dark days, where the light at the end of the tunnel will feel the size of a pin head. Can you work at being ok with that? Is it possible to reach a place of contentment in these moments, understanding they will end? They are necessary? You will find your happy place again? What would the impact be on yourself, your loved ones and your children if these beliefs rang true in your life, or at the very least, increased in presence? I believe this to be a significant responsibility of our role as mother – to model resiliency, calm, contentment, faith and happiness for our children. To demonstrate an assimilation of the varying emotions and experiences life delivers us. Is this easier said than done? Yes. Is it achievable however? Yes. When a survey was conducted asking children which teacher they would go to if they had a problem, the findings showed children’ s comfort resided with teachers who smiled, as opposed to their role, such as counsellor or classroom teacher. A smile depicts happiness, safety, ease, openness and comfort. So too does energy levels, body language, experiences, communication and interactions.
As you go on with your day today, take a deep breath and look around you. Search for the joy, the feel-good, the delightful, the happiness. See it, feel it, taste it, smell it and live it. Is it flowers in your neighbour’ s garden or the aroma of a laksa? Could it be a photo, music, a passer-by, a sale, the smell of rain, the gift of vision, the chubbiness of your child’ s fingers, the sound of your partners key in the door, the feel of your pillow at night? The ability to access positive emotions are all around you if you seek them out.
24 KIDZ ON THE COAST