On the Coast – Families Issue 92 | February / March 18 | Page 7
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with problems as they arise
if you have done the
preparation, instead of
hoping it doesn’t get worse.
Talk openly and honestly with your
child about how you feel – such as:
“I’m tired of telling you this over and
over again, it makes me feel...” Then add
a situation where they were cross with
a friend or sibling, that way you can
remind them how they felt and link it
into how you are feeling. Children need
to be taught how their behaviour affects
others, be it with friends or family.
“I’m angry with you because.” Phrases
like these teach your child about
empathy and immediately takes the
emotional charge out of your frustration.
You are being a good role model for
your child; it is ok to say ‘sorry’ I lost my
temper and shouted.
Swallowing your anger is an
unhealthy response as it turns inwards
and makes you feel unhappy, helpless,
stuck, depressed and generally out of
control of your life. Identifying that you
are getting angry is the first step, and
then you need to manage the feeling.
Reading articles or books on parenting
is always helpful, BUT unfortunately
when you are in the middle of a crisis
with the kids it’s hard to remember what
the book said.
Up to date research from the UK and
USA tells us that parents can manage
these difficult situations if they have
discussed before how to manage them.
Clearly you can’t practice a response to
ALL the situations your children will put
you in, but there are things that help.
Laura Kiln has moved to the Central Coast from
the UK where she worked in London at the Institute
of Psychiatry and the National Specialist Centre for
Child and Adolescent Mental Health. She has over
20 years experience of working with families and is
internationally recognised as an expert in the field of
Parenting. She has four children herself and is used to
the dramas of family life. Her practice ‘Laura’s Place’, is
open for self or GP referral. Tel: (02) 4385 5587
www.laurasplace.com.au. Laura has appeared on
Channel 9 TODAY show as a parenting expert.
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FEBRUARY/MARCH – ISSUE 92
7