On the Coast – Families Issue 105 I April/May 2020 | Page 34
I R I S F O U N D AT I O N
Why
empathy
S
ome years ago, a friend’s young
son received a merit award at his
school’s weekly assembly. He was
recognised not because he topped the
class in a maths test or ran first in a race,
but because he was kind and inclusive
towards others. I have since heard of
other Central Coast primary schools
highlighting positive personal qualities
rather than solely rewarding ranked
achievements.
Some observers have expressed
concern that nurturing ‘soft’
interpersonal skills like kindness
and empathy leaves young people
unprepared for the sometimes harsh
realities of modern life. Showing
empathy is sometimes equated with
weakness – particularly when it is
displayed by boys and young men. Yet
the ability to recognise and respect
different perspectives is strongly linked
to better outcomes in the classroom, at
34
ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES
matters
BY ADRIENNE GARSIDE
home and in the workplace. It is a vital
part of forming healthy relationships of
all kinds. To look at it from a different
angle, an inability (or unwillingness) to
empathise can enable cruelty, exclusion
and violent behaviour within homes,
schools and the broader community.
We tend to think of empathy as
‘walking in another person’s shoes’
to understand their feelings and
experiences. Being able to consider the
needs and motivations of other people
is a fundamental part of emotional
development. Though it may seem innate
to some children, empathy is largely a
learned behaviour. It is an invaluable
life skill that can be strengthened with
regular practise.
Practise what you preach
Children take most of their cues about
how to treat people from parents and
other caregivers. One of the most
powerful ways to teach a child empathy is
through your own interactions with them.
There are many ways to do this, including:
Providing a home environment that
fosters empathy via open
communication, emotional support
and consistent expectations regarding
behaviour
Making a habit of speaking well
of others in front of children,
particularly those they love and
respect
Verbally acknowledging situations
when they display kindness towards
others
Speaking respectfully to and about
people who look, communicate or
behave differently to you and
encouraging your child to do the
same
Expressing gratitude and offering
compliments freely – demonstrate that
generosity is not just about money