On the Coast – Families Issue 105 I April/May 2020 | Page 12

G O S F O R D P R I VAT E H O S P I TA L
Secure attachment parenting
E
motional connection between
an infant and their parent or
caregiver through wordless
communication is called attachment
bonding. This wordless communication
affects the way an infant develops
mentally, physically, intellectually,
emotionally, and socially.
The quality of this attachment
bonding between an infant and parent
varies. Secure attachment relationships
with caregivers are a protective factor
for infants and children, setting the
foundation for social skills and promoting
effective development and functioning
of the emotional regulation and social
response system of the brain.
Infant’s emotional connection with
parents begins at birth, develops rapidly
in the next 2 years and continues
developing throughout life. It requires
parents and caregivers to focus on what
is happening in the moment between
them and their child emotionally.
What is a secure attachment bond?
When a caregiver forms a wordless
emotional exchange with their child
and meets the emotional need of the
child, the child feels secure, understood,
and calm enough to experience optimal
development of his or her nervous
system. The child’s developing brain
organises itself to provide the best
foundation for life: a feeling of safety
that results in eagerness to learn, healthy
self-awareness, trust, and empathy.
What is an insecure attachment bond?
When a caregiver fails to meet a child’s
need for security, understanding, and calm,
it prevents the child’s developing brain
from organising itself in the best possible
ways. This results in arrested emotional,
mental, and even physical development,
leading to difficulties in learning and
forming healthy relationships in later life.
What are the benefits of secure
attachment to infants?
1. Infants who experience secure
attachment with the parent have
a healthy sense of self, hence feel
confident and good about themselves.
2. Understand how to be in a loving,
empathetic relationship. This will
form a foundation for child’s future
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ON T H E C OA S T – FA M ILIES
relationships with peers at school
and intimate relationships as an
adult. Secure children enjoy being
with others.
3. Able to share their feelings with
others and seek support.
4. A secure child maintains emotional
balance in various situations.
5. It gives the foundation for resilience
and able to rebound from loss and
disappointment.
What are the benefits of secure
attachment to parents and caregivers?
The joy of having a secure attachment
with their infant relieves fatigue and
stress and provides the “falling in
love” experience for the mothers and
caregivers. It motivates the parents, gives
them energy and makes them feel happy.
Some tips for creating secure
attachment:
6. The first step to creating a secure
attachment starts with self-care, such
as getting enough sleep, asking for
support around the house from your
partner, family and friends, and
taking some time away for a walk or
meditation.
7. The next step is calming yourself
in stressful situations through deep
breaths or a walk in the park. Infants
need outside help to calm themselves
down. An anxious parent adds to
baby’s stress.
8. Understanding baby’s cues for
hunger and sleep and providing food
and adequate rest when they need it.
9. When the baby is alert it is important
to engage with the baby emotionally
by playing with the baby by making
a funny face, peek-a-boo or a silly
voice. Babies can understand the calm
tone of the voice and loving touch.
10. The caregiver has to respond to about
one third of the non-verbal cues. You
don’t have to be a perfect parent to
form a secure attachment.
11. Depression, anxiety, emotional
problems, high level of stress, drug
and alcohol issues and domestic
violence can all interfere with forming
a secure emotional attachment with
the infant. So it is important to seek
support as early as possible from
family, friends and your GP.
12. Secure attachment parenting courses
are available on the Central Coast
through community services.
Dr Sathiya Karthigeyan is part of the highly
experienced Paediatric and Neonatology team
now seeing all babies born at Gosford Private
Hospital, as part of the innovative Gosford
Private Paediatric Specialist Network (GPPSN).
Learn more at gosfordmaternity.com.au