On the Coast – Families Issue 100 I June/July 2019 | Page 23
and anxiety, the likes of what we have
never witnessed before.
External influences, social
expectations and the strong desire that
most kids have to play – and to keep on
playing with technology is a real thing
– it is after all, addictive. Fun fact – Steve
Jobs and Bill Gates have been very public
in telling people that they limit their
children’s access to technology. Think
about that for a moment.
I know that I am guilty of picking up
my phone too many times, checking it or
scrolling aimlessly. I also know that I need
to change my own habits because I have
small people watching me, learning from
me. I know that I need to give them
boundaries to protect them, I need to
know what they are doing with
technology, this can’t be a free for all. It’s
the “how do I do it” that is unclear. I don’t
want my kids to grow up with their face in
a screen, missing all the great things that
are happening around them, not learning
how to engage in proper friendships and
relationships and not looking out the
window of a car to take in the view.
This stuff needs to be implemented well
before the teenage years, because let’s be
honest, there are enough battles raising
teens than to roll out a whole new set of
rules if they have been running their own
show with technology since they were
little. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
I am no expert, not on technology, and
not on parenting. I am simply a mum who
like all the other mums is navigating the
challenge of raising kids in the digital age.
I am winging it like everyone else, but I
have read, listened to podcasts and tried to
get as much information as I possibly
could to make my life with 4 boys aged
between 9 and 15 a little easier when it
comes to this stuff. I want to share the top
tips that I’ve read, heard and learnt
through my own research for making this
stuff a little easier to deal with, in the hope
that it will save you some time and energy. you’ve got people in your corner and
honestly, I think this beast takes a group
effort to manage, and you’ll feel better
when you know you are part of a gang.
Know Stuff
Knowing the facts will help you decide
the best approach, and what is the right
thing for your kids. If you’re looking for
books loaded with information, research
and tips on raising kids in the digital age
– some great reads are Glow Kids by
Nicholas Kardaras and Teen Brain by
David Gillespie, or if you want to cut to
the chase, you can listen to the David
Gillespie interview by Mia Freedman in
the Mamamia No Filter podcast. Be the Parent
I wasn’t popular when I announced to
my sons and step sons, 4 of them aged
between 9 and 15, that there would be no
devices coming with us for a 3 hour road
trip that we took last weekend, and yes
the first half an hour was not fun, with
snarly, unhappy kids in the back seats
determined to ruin the day out of protest.
But sure enough, slowly but surely, there
was singing, there were jokes, there were
kids noticing things out the window, and
talking to each other – you know,
creating memories. I think we need to be
OK with not being popular. I mean, sure I
want my kids to like me and I want them
to be happy, but ultimately, I’ve got a job
to do and they need me to do it, even if it
comes with eye rolling and tantrums –
and that is just from me.
Find your Villagers
You know what they say, it takes a village to
raise a child. My 9 year old son came home
from school with a note advising that his
teacher had done an in class survey and
found an alarming amount of children
were on Instagram and Snapchat. These
kids are 9 years old, and I am going to go
out on a limb here and suggest that they
a) don’t need it and b) don’t need it.
Thankfully, my son’s friends aren’t in that
group of teeny tiny Instagrammers so it
removes it entirely from his radar. My 15
year old son has to surrender his phone to
the kitchen bench at 8pm every night – it
continues to beep until after 1am in the
morning even on school nights, so it is no
surprise that he feels hard done by that he
can’t go to bed with his phone. My advice
is to surround yourself with villagers who
have similar boundaries with technology as
you. You will have some back up knowing
Safety
Set the boundaries for your kids –
whatever that looks like for you in
your house – you decide what the time
frames are that they can use devices,
and when time is up – it’s up
Know their logins and passwords and
have an understanding of what they
are using
Keep phones and technology out of
bedrooms and in open family living
areas when you can see, hear and
observe them as you go about your
business.
Jaynie Moloney is a freelance journalist, events guru and blogger. She is an avid people watcher,
daggy dancer, embracer of awkwardness and the CEO of a blended family consisting of 4 boys
and an Irishman.
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