On the Coast – Families Issue 100 I June/July 2019 | Page 23

and anxiety, the likes of what we have never witnessed before. External influences, social expectations and the strong desire that most kids have to play – and to keep on playing with technology is a real thing – it is after all, addictive. Fun fact – Steve Jobs and Bill Gates have been very public in telling people that they limit their children’s access to technology. Think about that for a moment. I know that I am guilty of picking up my phone too many times, checking it or scrolling aimlessly. I also know that I need to change my own habits because I have small people watching me, learning from me. I know that I need to give them boundaries to protect them, I need to know what they are doing with technology, this can’t be a free for all. It’s the “how do I do it” that is unclear. I don’t want my kids to grow up with their face in a screen, missing all the great things that are happening around them, not learning how to engage in proper friendships and relationships and not looking out the window of a car to take in the view. This stuff needs to be implemented well before the teenage years, because let’s be honest, there are enough battles raising teens than to roll out a whole new set of rules if they have been running their own show with technology since they were little. Ain’t nobody got time for that. I am no expert, not on technology, and not on parenting. I am simply a mum who like all the other mums is navigating the challenge of raising kids in the digital age. I am winging it like everyone else, but I have read, listened to podcasts and tried to get as much information as I possibly could to make my life with 4 boys aged between 9 and 15 a little easier when it comes to this stuff. I want to share the top tips that I’ve read, heard and learnt through my own research for making this stuff a little easier to deal with, in the hope that it will save you some time and energy. you’ve got people in your corner and honestly, I think this beast takes a group effort to manage, and you’ll feel better when you know you are part of a gang. Know Stuff Knowing the facts will help you decide the best approach, and what is the right thing for your kids. If you’re looking for books loaded with information, research and tips on raising kids in the digital age – some great reads are Glow Kids by Nicholas Kardaras and Teen Brain by David Gillespie, or if you want to cut to the chase, you can listen to the David Gillespie interview by Mia Freedman in the Mamamia No Filter podcast. Be the Parent I wasn’t popular when I announced to my sons and step sons, 4 of them aged between 9 and 15, that there would be no devices coming with us for a 3 hour road trip that we took last weekend, and yes the first half an hour was not fun, with snarly, unhappy kids in the back seats determined to ruin the day out of protest. But sure enough, slowly but surely, there was singing, there were jokes, there were kids noticing things out the window, and talking to each other – you know, creating memories. I think we need to be OK with not being popular. I mean, sure I want my kids to like me and I want them to be happy, but ultimately, I’ve got a job to do and they need me to do it, even if it comes with eye rolling and tantrums – and that is just from me. Find your Villagers You know what they say, it takes a village to raise a child. My 9 year old son came home from school with a note advising that his teacher had done an in class survey and found an alarming amount of children were on Instagram and Snapchat. These kids are 9 years old, and I am going to go out on a limb here and suggest that they a) don’t need it and b) don’t need it. Thankfully, my son’s friends aren’t in that group of teeny tiny Instagrammers so it removes it entirely from his radar. My 15 year old son has to surrender his phone to the kitchen bench at 8pm every night – it continues to beep until after 1am in the morning even on school nights, so it is no surprise that he feels hard done by that he can’t go to bed with his phone. My advice is to surround yourself with villagers who have similar boundaries with technology as you. You will have some back up knowing Safety ƒ ƒ Set the boundaries for your kids – whatever that looks like for you in your house – you decide what the time frames are that they can use devices, and when time is up – it’s up ƒ ƒ Know their logins and passwords and have an understanding of what they are using ƒ ƒ Keep phones and technology out of bedrooms and in open family living areas when you can see, hear and observe them as you go about your business. Jaynie Moloney is a freelance journalist, events guru and blogger. She is an avid people watcher, daggy dancer, embracer of awkwardness and the CEO of a blended family consisting of 4 boys and an Irishman. Boost literacy skills! ® The I Can Read literacy system arose from research undertaken by Australian educational psychologists, it has now gained global success with over 50,000 students in seven countries. I Can Read centres are total literacy centres, covering all aspects of literacy including: • • • • reading • spelling • vocabulary • comprehension grammar • written composition • public speaking drama • preparation for kindergarten preparation for selective schools Book in for a free assessment at Erina Fair with Clare Egan – MSpeEd (Newcastle) by calling 0438 284 739 ® For excellence in literacy, always consult professionals. Designed and supported by educational psychologists. www.icanreadsystem.com JUNE/JULY – ISSUE 100 23