From
D
espair to
Praise
By Valeene Hayes, Missionary, One Mission Society
Something was in the air. The radio choir was rehearsing it, committees were reviewing it, and all were looking forward to sharing it— the story of God’s great faithfulness. Radio 4VEH was celebrating its 40th anniversary. On June 2, 1990, the church on the compound was overflowing. Some 1,200 guests attended, and a multitude of faces peered through the open-framed windows. Fans of Radio 4VEH had come from many areas in Haiti, along with devoted friends from Canada and the United States, to celebrate the anniversary. Our dear Haitian listeners who had either walked for miles or come on “tap taps” (public transportation) were continuing to find spots around the OMS compound to listen to the celebration through large outdoor speakers. To our surprise, all the other stations in Cap-Haitien had gone off the air in honor of our special occasion! Thrilling testimonies and dramas portraying God’s miracles through 40 years of radio broadcasting captivated us in such a way that it seemed unbelievable that five hours had passed before the radio choir took their place on the brightly festooned platform. The day was crowned with the cantata, Great Is Thy Faithfulness, a beautiful “AMEN” to all of God’s miracles. From a peak of praise to a valley of despair However, little did we dream of what was ahead. After a glorious celebration of God’s faithfulness, in the following days, we faced incredible challenges. We faced blackouts, which affected the radio broadcasts and listeners; devastating breakdowns in equipment, transmitters, generators, and staff morale; discouraging budget issues; and a fuel crisis with untold expenses. In addition, northern Haiti had been hit with a serious drought. Wells had gone dry, gardens were parched, and markets were empty, as people desperately searched for food and water. Despair hung over Haiti! The usual l’espoir
d’Haiti, or the spirit of hope we had always admired in this land of struggle, was all but gone. Suddenly, shocking words came from my heart and lips. “I am so tired of this!” With all the challenges I had faced during my years in Haiti, including forced evacuations and orders to have a suitcase ready “just in case,” I had never felt like this before. The discouragement was overwhelming. I was sinking into despair. Then, one night in the darkness, physically and emotionally exhausted, I wept before the Lord, “How can I be of help to those I love and serve here in Haiti when my own heart is troubled with doubt and fear, and I feel ready to give up?” Suddenly, as though an electrical storm had hit, my bedroom was bright with flashing lights, and these letters formed before my eyes: D-E-S-P-A-I-R. I got out of bed, grabbed my Bible, and fell to my knees. “Lord, what is happening? I’m frightened … don’t let me fall … don’t let me fail. I need to see you!” The room darkened again, except for the flashing letters. They were changing positions. Then, I saw it: P-R-A-I-S-E-D. God’s voice seemed so clear, “Have you praised me? I am worthy to be praised!” Tears, confused thoughts, and struggling words of praise came forth. I knew I didn’t comprehend it all, but I knew the Lord was there. Picking up the flashlight at my bedside, I went to the desk and wrote down DESPAIR and PRAISED. Matching and crossing out letter by letter, I saw wha ? ?????????????%??!??????????????????????????????!?????????????MA%H???????????????$?AI%M?!%4??]??????????????????????????1????$??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????9?????????????????????????????????$????????????????????q!????????????????t??qe???1????e???????????????AI%M??t?????e??????%??)????????I??????Y ????????????????????????????!????()?????????????I??????Y ???????????????????????????????????????=5O?d?????????((?((?((0