OMG Digital Magazine OMG Issue 336 20th December 2018 | Page 11

OMG Digital Magazine | 336 | Thursday 20 December 2018 • PAGE 11
Relationship
The Truth About Money and Relationships
Are you arguing with your spouse about money? You’re
not alone. When you put together couples and money,
you’re bound to get a few spats. Did you know money is the
number one issue married couples fight about?(1) When it
comes to marital problems, money fights are the second
leading cause of divorce, behind infidelity.(2)
It’s no secret that cultivating a solid marriage takes time
and work. No matter how much you love your spouse,
trying to merge your lives—and your money—can be a
bumpy (but still beautiful!) ride.
Here are seven mistakes couples make when it comes to
their money and relationship—and how you can avoid
them.
1. They Keep Separate Bank Accounts
Some couples think the best way to avoid money
arguments is to keep separate checking accounts.
His paycheck goes in one account, hers goes into
another, and they each pay bills separately. No harm, no
foul, right? Wrong. This lays the groundwork for financial
problems as time goes on.
How to work on it:
Marriage is a partnership. The officiant said, “And now
you are one.” Both parties need to be involved in the
finances. Separating the money and splitting the bills is a
bad idea that only leads to more money and relationship
problems down the road. Don’t keep separate accounts.
Put all of your money together and begin to look at it as
a whole.
3. Their Personality Differences Come Between Them
Everyone’s personality is different, and opposites tend to
attract. Chances are, one of you loves working numbers
(the nerd) and the other one would rather not be tied
down by what the numbers show (the free spirit). One of
you might be the saver and the other is more inclined to
spend. How to work on it:
Be open and honest about any side checking/savings
accounts or secret credit cards you have.  It’s time to
own up to the truth and clear the air. Then, work toward
establishing financial trust again. Recommit to your
shared goal and remember why you’re doing it. You’re in
this together!
While that can cause some marital problems,  it isn’t the
real issue. The source of the problem is whenever one of
you neglects to hear the other’s input. Or when one of
you bows out from participating in the financial dealings
altogether. 6. They Let Their Expectations Get the Best of Them
One of the biggest dividers between couples and money
is when they have unmet expectations. The quickest way
to feel unfulfilled and unsatisfied with your spouse and
financial goals is when you expect things to go a certain
way only to find out reality is a bit different.
How to work on it:
Listen up, financial nerds. Don’t keep the money details all
to yourself. And stop acting like a know-it-all while using
your “knowledge” to boss around your free-spirit spouse.
And if you’re the more carefree spouse, don’t just nod
your head and say, “That looks great, dear.” You have a
vote in the budget meetings! Give feedback, criticism and
encouragement.
News flash: you’re both on the same team here, so work
on the budget together! Use your personality differences
to become a united, stronger team.
4. They Let Salary Differences Divide Them
For most couples, one of them probably makes more
money than the other. Rarely will you both be making the
exact same salary. But whether the amount comes to $50
or $50,000 more a year, the same problem can arise.
2. They Disagree About Their Lifestyle
Let’s say you’re perfectly content shopping at Goodwill
when you need to update your threads, but your spouse
loves to buy name-brand items at full price. If you have
an income that doesn’t support expensive tastes, that’s
going to be a problem. Instead of seeing the full pot as “our money,” you might
think you have leverage over the other—all thanks to a
few extra digits on your paycheck. Sometimes the spouse
bringing in the most money can feel entitled to the most
say.  Don’t even go there.  That’s just asking for more
money and relationship troubles.
How to work on it:
Marriage is all about compromise. If one of you is attached
to name-brand items, consider shopping at an outlet mall
to snag those brands at affordable prices. How to work on it:
It’s not “yours” or “mine”—it’s “ours.” There’s no reason to
hold a higher income over the other’s head. You’re on the
same team. Start acting like it.
Because the bottom line is:  your lifestyle needs to line
up with what your actual income is—not what you wish
it was.  You might want to live like a perfectly curated
Instagram post, but don’t let yourself fall down that rabbit
hole. Especially when there aren’t enough zeros in your
bank account. 5. They Commit Financial Unfaithfulness
Being unfaithful to your spouse doesn’t always involve an
affair. Sometimes it’s when you’re unfaithful to a shared
financial vision by opening a side bank account or stashing
away cash. That’s deceitful. The same applies if you have a
credit card your spouse knows nothing about.
If you’ve always thought you have to immediately buy
a house after getting married, you might feel let down
when you celebrate your first anniversary in the apartment
you’re renting. Don’t let your unrealistic expectations
pave the way for marital problems and discord!
How to work on it:
There is no rule stating married couples have to buy a
home, start a family, or go on a trip to Paris during their
first year of marriage. If those things aren’t feasible for you
right now, stop worrying. Get your finances in order now so
that later you can make your dreams a reality.
(And when it does come time to buy your first home, we
recommend you save at least 10% for a down payment—
or 20% if you want to avoid PMI—and only take out a 15-
year, fixed-rate mortgage.)
7. They Let the Kids Run the Show
Your kids are begging you for the latest video game. You
think about how well they’ve behaved lately and figure,
why not? But your spouse is upset because it isn’t in the
budget. Hello, impending money argument! Whether
it’s buying them toys, giving them an allowance, or just
paying for their sports equipment—kids have a way of
shedding light on couples and their money habits.
How to work on it:
Talk about it and make a plan.  Decide together how
to budget for the things your children need.  But what
about all of their pesky  wants? Discuss the possibility of
establishing chores and a commission (or allowance) for
the work they do. This can help them establish a great
work ethic all while teaching them how important it is to
wait for the things you want in life!