OMG Digital Magazine OMG Issue 330 25th October 2018 | Page 6

OMG Digital Magazine | 330 | Thursday 25 October 2018 • PAGE 6
SoulFood
Make Peace with Yourself
How We Let Go of Regret Put an end to the torment of regret
Regret can have a powerful hold on us. Our experiences
of loss, heartache, and disappointment tend to stick with
us and the negative consequences of our actions - or
inactions - at times are often hard to shake. A critical piece
of being able to let go of our deepest regrets is being able
to make peace with ourselves. While I wish there was an
easy prescription for doing this, there is no magic formula.
But I believe in my heart that each of us has the ability
to do it. We are each capable of putting an end to the
torment of regret and moving on with our lives. Following
is an example, adapted from my book No More Regrets!
30 Ways to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life,
that illustrates at a personal level what I mean by making
peace with yourself.
My son, Blake, was born in the middle of a hurricane,
literally as the eye of the storm passed over the hospital
where my wife was giving birth. It was a scene that can
only be described as chaotic: the hospital was already on
backup generators due to flooding and a power outage,
and we were on the only floor that hadn’t been evacuated
yet. Nurses were running around frantically as my wife
begged for an epidural. Then, just as she was about to
deliver, the doctor informed us that the umbilical cord
was wrapped around our baby’s neck. As he tried to
remedy the situation, I could see signs of panic on his face.
He reassured us that everything was fine, but our son was
a deep blue color upon coming out of the womb.
All I remember is pleading to God to let this baby breathe. I
can say without hesitation that I have never been so happy
to hear a baby cry his lungs out. At that moment, I knew my
son was resilient and determined to put up a fight, though
I still wondered what impact the early trauma might have
had on him. Did he stop breathing for too long? Would he
be “normal”? I hated to think that way, but I kept torturing
myself with the unknown.
As my son grew from an infant to a toddler, I continued to
worry about him, even though his  cognitive, social, and
physical development was fine. Instead of celebrating
his good  health, I focused more on possible reasons for
concern: he had chronic eczema that made him scratch
his skin until it bled, he developed a severe nut allergy
that resulted in a 911 call and a trip to the emergency
room, he got bronchitis more frequently than most kids,
and he needed breathing treatments for wheezing. Right
or wrong, I attributed these symptoms to his precarious
situation at birth, not to mention I couldn’t shake the idea-
however illogical-that I was partly responsible. Perhaps I
could have done something to prevent the umbilical cord
from getting wrapped around his neck. Maybe I should
have moved my wife to a different hospital that wasn’t in
the direct path of a hurricane. I was haunted with regret
every time I relived the experience in my head.
When Blake was almost five we took a family trip to
Portland, and the itinerary included a visit to the famous
outdoor market. Blake was insistent upon having his palm
read by a woman at a table full of tarot cards, despite my
attempts to lure him toward the cotton candy booth.
Reluctantly I conceded, terrified that the palm reader
might reveal something awful to my son about his health.
At the conclusion of the reading my son called me over. To
my surprise, he was all smiles. Then he ran off to find Mom
while I paid the bill.
As I started to reach for my wallet, the palm reader
grabbed me by the arm and stared into my eyes with
captivating intensity. “You don’t have to worry about him
anymore,” she said. “What happened to your son was a
long time ago; he’s going to be fine now. You can stop
worrying, you’ll see.”
My jaw dropped. How did she know my secret? How did
she know he was going to be okay? For some strange
reason that I still can’t explain, I believed her. Perhaps the
sole reason our paths had crossed that day was for her to
tell me that a guardian angel was watching over my son.
The sense of relief I felt was overwhelming. I broke down
crying right there in the middle of the crowded street,
overcome with emotion and the revelation that I was no
longer a prisoner to my feelings of worry and regret.
The key to getting over regret is learning how to release
yourself from its grip. I believe my son was born in a
hurricane because he can weather any storm. He is
healthy, happy, smart, friendly, funny, courageous,
athletic, and strong. I am no longer burdened with the
weight of regret because I have let go of my emotional
baggage from the circumstances of his birth. When we
face what torments us, we put a stop to our inner turmoil.
Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Come to terms
with your feelings of regret and don’t beat yourself up over
situations you can’t control. Make peace with yourself and
set yourself free from the past.
Marc Muchnick is the author of No More Regrets! 30 Ways
to Greater Happiness and Meaning in Your Life. For more
information go to: http://no-more-regrets.com/