OMG Digital Magazine OMG Issue 311 31st May 2018 | Page 11

OMG Digital Magazine | 311 | Thursday 31 May 2018 • PAGE 11
8 SECRETS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE
By Libby Golden
1. Have Secrets 
One of the chief tenants of Krasnow's book is that every
marriage is entitled to a healthy amount of secrecy. This
does not apply to harmful activities such as bank robbery
or adultery, for instance, but rather to the "secrets of your
soul that aren't hurting anyone else." Krasnow writes, "no
one knows what's really going on in a marriage except
the two people in it. That gives each of us the freedom to
write our own rules and keep our own secrets."
But rediscovering an interest from your youth in your
married life can build more confidence, both in yourself
and in your relationship, according to Krasnow. "When
you resurrect a childhood passion that is yours alone,"
she explains, "you feel worthy. Everyone needs to feel
like they're worthy." Greater self-worth leads to greater
happiness, and, Krasnow explains, the happiness that
you build for yourself is crucial to a wedded couple. "Stop
expecting someone else to make you happy; that's a real
formula for success of marriage," she says.
2. A Marriage Should Run on Multiple Tracks
Marital success is not, Krasnow asserts, about depending
on someone else. Instead, each spouse should allow for
self-growth, whether in a career, through special hobbies,
or pursuing fun with a great group of pals. "When you
go out with your friends or your work is pumping you,
you are pumping your self esteem and your sense of
accomplishment," Krasnow explains. "When partners
are each growing on their own, they have a better shot
at growing for a longer time." So go ahead, seek your
adventures or hang with the girls and leave your husband
at home. It's good for both of you! 4. Keep Your Friends Close 
It's terrific if you count your husband as your best friend
— just make sure you make room for some best girlfriends
too. Krasnow's research affirms that the women with the
highest marital satisfaction stay connected to a group
of gals who spice up their social life, provide great
laughs, and offer support for whatever unfolds in their
marriages — the peaks and the valleys. Krasnow writes,
"Our girlfriends, ever-forgiving and always empathetic,
provide the escape hatch from the inevitable storms and
challenges that comes with long marriages."
3. Act Like a Kid Again
Remember that journal you kept as a teen because
you loved to write? Maybe you plucked a violin in your
school orchestra, or played midfield on a club lacrosse
team. As kids and young adults, it may have been easier
to chase your bliss simply because you had more time. 5. Spend Time Apart 
Who says girls' night out has to just last an evening? If
your idea of relaxation is a trip to the spa and not a day on
the golf course with your hubby, Krasnow recommends
the occasional vacation apart. Taking a separate week or
even a separate summer can reinvigorate your marriage:
"After some weeks apart from each other, removed from
the grind of ordinary life, marriage seems way hotter than
the tepid state in which you left each other in." Ooo la la!
6. Lower Expectations 
Happily-ever-after doesn't mean happy all the time, and
it's important for you and your spouse to be realistic
about the bumps along the married road. That is why it
is imperative that women be zealous about forging their
own sense of purpose; writes Krasner, "marital bliss is
possible if each partner is blissful without the other."
7. Be Grateful 
Practicing gratitude can go a long way in a marriage,
whether it's thanking your husband for taking out the
trash, or making time for him because he has given you
the ability to have a life outside of your relationship.
"Gratitude is a powerful feeler," explains Krasnow. "A lot
of us need to stop and just say, 'thank you. I know you're
not perfect and I am not perfect, but thank you for sticking
it out.'"
8. Reslience Matters
Bearing a grudge does not make for a harmonious
relationship. In fact, says Krasnow, "the ability to bounce
back from strife and arguments is the real secret that
makes marriages last forever."