OMG Digital Magazine OMG Issue 298 1st March 2017 COMPLETE | Page 5

OMG Digital Magazine | 298 | Thursday 1 March 2018 • PAGE 5
Confessions
I GOT DRUNK AND TOLD
A FORMER CO-WORKER I
WAS IN LOVE WITH HER.
Stop It!!
My partner likes to stare at me and it pisses me off. I really don't like it. She just sits
there and stares for 5 minutes straight. Sometimes I just want to curse at her for doing
that. She doesn't even take the hint when I give her a dirty look. It's annoying as hell.
Whilst drinking with some friends I drunkenly decided I had strong feelings for this
girl and we should be a thing. My friends encouraged me to tell this girl how I felt, so I
sent her these rambling, incoherent, creepy inbox messages which she diplomatically
ignored. I don't know what feels worse: the embarrassment of getting shot down, or the
shame of drunkenly composing the kind of poetry a 14 year old would cringe at.
Finally shaved my head! I am a werewolf
I went from a full 6 inches of thick, dense afro to a slick buzzcut. I don't really want to
tell my friends or anybody because they'll probably think I'm making too big of a deal
out of it, but WOW!!! I don't have hair!!! It feels so strange!!!!
I woke up this morning with an 8 inch long cut on my chest. It stings like hell. No idea
how I got it. Therefore I am completely convinced that I am a werewolf.