PAGE 6 • OMG Digital Magazine | Thursday 18th February, 2016, 2015
How to be
a better
person
every day
By Barrie Davenport
OMG.
When I think about the mistakes I’ve made, the
unkind words I’ve spoken, the opportunities I’ve
let slip by, the unhealthy mindsets I’ve fostered
— it makes me want to hang my head in shame.
On too many occasions, I have not acted as my
best self, the self I want to be. The self I know
I’m capable of being. On too many occasions, I
have accepted mediocre, I’ve stood by when I
should have acted, I’ve said “no” to life when I
could have said “yes.”
If there is any grace in this humbling admission, it’s the
knowledge that I’m not alone. Failing to live up to expectations,
our own or that of others, is part of the human condition. We
are flawed, every single one of us. And as hard as we may try to
be our “best selves,” we will never reach that goal. We will never
reach it because our best self is a work in progress. It will be until
the day we die.
But . . . we can be a “better self.” We can define the best self we
want to be and strive daily to come as close to that as possible.
Yes, we will forget. We will falter. We will fail at times. However,
as long as we keep trying to be better, we are doing our best.
I believe without our mistakes and failures, we can’t come close
to becoming our best selves. Without them, we don’t know
where and how to improve. We may be inspired to set lofty
goals, but it’s the mistakes along the way that show us the next
step we need to take.
Failure may be humbling, but it is a teacher. If you shift your
perspective just a bit, maybe you’ll even see your lapses as a gift.
I love what thought leader and author Marianne Williamson says
about failure and being a better person:
The new midlife is where you realize that even your failures
make you more beautiful and are turned spiritually into success
if you became a better person because of them. You became
a more humble person. You became a more merciful and
compassionate person.
That has certainly been true for me. In my young adult years,
I did everything possible to hide my failures and flaws. I had a
hard time facing my negative qualities and admitting, “Yep, you
belong to me.” With every passing year, you gain acceptance
that perfection is an impossible goal and a waste of time. You
learn to forgive yourself and can more easily move on. You learn
to extract the valuable nuggets from your blunders before you
run away from them with your head down and eyes averted.
You learn that being a better person means embracing your
strengths and weaknesses.
I want to be a better person, and I believe you do as well. Let’s
work together to accept the inevitability of mistakes, flaws, and
setbacks, while continuing to move toward the best self we all
desire to be.
Here are some thoughts on how to be a better person every day:
1. Confidence Pose
If you ever need a boost to your confidence to help you
power through your day, adopt a powerful pose, and feel your
testosterone rise and your cortisol (stress hormone) fall. Check
out Amy Cuddy’s TED talk here for more.
2. Benjamin Franklin Effect
There’s a little trick called the Benjamin Franklin Effect that says
if someone does you a favor, they will like you more as a result.
Our brains like to justify our behaviors, so when someone does
a favor for you, their subconscious will convince them that they
did the favor for you because they liked you. Read more about
it here.
3. Unattainability
Things that are out of reach are always more desirable. Studies
show that women find men more attractive if they are married
than if they are single. Remember this next time you feel really
needy towards someone. Do you want them because you
would enjoy a sustainable relationship with them, or because
you can’t have them?
4. Contrast Principle
Things always seem better when placed next to something
worse. When a salesman tries to sell you a car for 50 thousand
dollars, it probably sounds like an unfriendly deal. When they
then offer you a 10 thousand dollar car, with a couple thousa