LIFESTYLE
GREAT PARENTS HAVE GREAT SEX
sex is not serving you. Dump your need to be wined and dined and just do it. The truth is that if you want to feel more connected to your spouse, you need to connect more with your spouse. Sex is a really great way to create more connection. Use it.
Photo courtesy of Katie Nugent Photography. www. katienugent. com
Since becoming a parent, how many articles, blogs, books and health journals have you read offering tips on being a better parent? It seems there is new information on this topic daily and it can get down right overwhelming trying to be proactive and‘ do the right thing’ as a parent. What if I told you that one of the most important things you can work on as a parent is something that you already know how to do. It’ s actually the thing that got you into this whole parenting‘ mess’ in the first place! That’ s right- SEX can be the key to a happy household.
The importance of maintaining a close and intimate connection with our partner as we ride the roller coaster of parenthood is often overlooked and put on the back burner, but a healthy sex life can have a powerful impact on our actions as parents. Sex is a sure fire way to re-connect with your significant other and yet many, many parents can attest to having gone through some serious dry spells or full on draughts in the bedroom.
To start having the kind of sex that leads to better parenting, kick these four thoughts out of your bedroom:
I am not in the mood
The biggest lie going on in many bedrooms is that you have to first feel an intimate connection in order to have sex. That romance novel way of thinking about
Sex is unnatural and not that good
Get out of your head and let your body do the work. The truth is that the only way to start having better sex is to start having more sex. If you feel you are out of practice, it is really important that you get back in the game. Not having a sex life leads to lack of intimate connection which leads to lack of communication. If you are feeling lonely in your relationship, or you think your spouse might be, commit to getting back into bed together. Your kids win in the long run; happier parents are much better parents.
I don’ t feel sexy
That is because you are not having enough sex! The act of sex and the biological responses that come along with it actually help our bodies produce more beneficial hormones, which in turn leads to better health in a number of ways. More feel good hormones, like oxytocin for women, reduces stress and has the same physical benefits as exercise. If you want to improve your health and get into good shape, commit to having more sex.
He / She doesn’ t deserve it
Stop making sex all about the other person. You are responsible for your sex life. Work on making sex about you and your commitment to the many benefits, such as connection and communication. When you use sex as a weapon or a reward for good behaviour you are making it about the other person. The fact is, you are together and you have children. The benefit of being in a monogamous relationship is that you have a guaranteed sex partner. What does it really cost you to have sex with your spouse when you are not particularly pleased with him or her? Nothing! Just do it. Do it for you and do it for your kids.
Contributed by Beth Veenkamp of Constructing Life Coaching.
2013 Okanagan4Kids. com Baby & Toddler Guide 22