GREG SELLAR
YOU CAN CONTACT GREG VIA : Web : gregsellar . com Facebook : greg . sellar Twitter : @ gregsellar Instagram : @ gregsellar
In psychology , there ’ s a field of study called ACT , or Acceptance and Commitment Therapy . It ’ s a series of acceptance and mindfulness strategies that promote moving towards valued behaviour as opposed to eliminating difficult feelings . In a 2015 review , ACT performed better with test subjects than a placebo or the typical treatment ( the drug CBT ) for anxiety , depression and addiction . In ACT Therapy people are encouraged to move from the problems of the acronym FEAR :
• Fusion with your thoughts
• Evaluation of your experience
• Avoidance of your experience
• Reason-giving for your behaviour .
Towards the healthier alternative to ACT :
• Accept your reactions and be present
• Choose a valued direction
• Take action .
We ’ re never going to be able to wipe the slate clean of negative feelings – critical judgements , negative self-talk , comparison , etc – but we can choose how much power they have over what comes next . For some , reviewing the now state leaves us in total paralysis , whilst for others , acceptance allows movement . The trick is to allow thoughts to come and go without struggling with them .
CHOICE 3 – ACCEPT IT & LEAVE IT
Seth Godin in his Circles of Influence highlights how there are circumstances in life we can ’ t change , so we shouldn ’ t spend time and energy trying to change them . Whilst you can have influence over certain events and people and others may be of concern to you , the only thing in life you can directly control is you .
I cannot attend another dinner where the discussion turns to religion or politics . It ’ s the same arguments from two sides of thinking and philosophy that have existed since the dawn of time . I know I ’ m not going to change the minds of those who share a different view or opinion to me , so I now just except it and move on .
The same goes for litterbugs , inconsiderate drivers and split bills in restaurants . They all bug me , but to get into an argument every time I cross something that bothers me , is going to get tedious . I ’ m not suggesting turning a blind eye to injustices or sitting on your hands where things can be done , but if the thinking time and intensity you dedicate to causes outside of your control is disproportionate to things that affect you on a daily basis , drop it before you send yourself crazy .
In 2013 , Deakin University in Australia found when it comes to life satisfaction , the ability to accept what cannot be changed and move on from it is equally important to the feeling of being able to exert control over your life . We don ’ t have to be in control of everything that affects our life for us to be satisfied . If we can get to the point in life where we can learn to accept things as they are and work with what is directly before us , we will be free to progress in the things we can change .
Three different options with markedly different outcomes – the choice is yours .
To learn more about this topic or to engage Greg as a keynote speaker at your next event , contact Greg via gregsellar . com
OH ! MAGAZINE ( OCTOBER 2016 ) 27