OH! Magazine - Australian Version May 2016 | Page 16

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( Men’s Health )

IS SUCCESS MEASURED
BY SEX, MONEY
& FREEDOM?

MIKE
CAMPBELL

Enjoy this thought-provoking article by Mike Campbell.
e men measure success in funny
ways. Sex. Money. Freedom /
security / power (take your pick of those
last three). But how does this come about?

W

I’ve discussed before how as boys we learn
to wear the mask of masculinity: ‘Be a
man’, as it were. Essentially, this leads us
down a path to constantly proving our
manhood and keeping our feelings to
ourselves. This mask sees us form the
inner narrative ‘I’ll be right’. We don’t ask
for help and can struggle to even admit to
ourselves that we might have issues. This
impacts our physical and mental health,
and can create a single-track focus that
sends us deeper into a hole.
As teenagers we learn to follow the crowd
and model the masculine measures of
success: athletic ability/physical prowess,
sexual conquests and financial success.
These often strengthen as we become
men and soon what we seek is a great
body (because that will lead to more sex).
We chase money and power or a loose
concept of freedom; a culture of ‘more’
becomes the norm.
To the average man, more sex, more
money and freedom are THE measures of
success – because this stuff brings
happiness, right? The majority of this is
wrapped up in external validation from
others as confirmation of that success.
Most of us have never questioned this, or
asked ourselves what those measures
actually mean and why they represent
success. Let’s take a look then, shall we?

16

MAY 2016 ( OH! MAGAZINE )

Sex: As much as we love sex, what
really want is to be desired, to
significant and to feel accepted. What
actually seek from sex is connection
both a physical and emotional level.

we
be
we
on

Money: We want money because it’s been
drilled into us that this is synonymous
with success, and we realise life will be
easier, the more we have. We aim for more
but few of us ever identify exactly how
much is enough.
Freedom: Money, in turn, can provide us
with a sense of freedom; freedom to travel,
to gain experiences, and to buy nice
things. This may be true for some men,
but when we dig deeper what most
humans actually want is personal power.
This refers to better control over our time,
being able to manage our priorities, and
being able to do the things that are most
important to us when we want to do them.
So when we say we want sex, money and
freedom (security too), what we actually
want is to feeling connected, desired and
significant; and to be able to spend our
time doing what is most important to us,
with the people who we are most
connected to.
The thing is, it becomes exhausting and
entirely unsatisfying hiding behind this
faux masculine mask, relentlessly
presenting to the world a false version of
ourselves. So while many men might seem
happy and successful on the outside, in
truth many of us are actually frustrated
with our lives, feeling stuck and even a bit

lost as to what we should be doing. For
many men, chasing this ‘success’ feels
shallow and directionless.
If there’s one thing I’m personally
passionate about, it is helping men break
free of this accepted mediocrity, address
what is truly important to you and go
about making it happen. It’s time to take
a look in the mirror and make a change!
Wouldn’t you agree that life is far too short
to spend it stuck in a rut, living a life that
doesn’t bring you genuine happiness or
the feelings you desire the most? Wouldn’t
you like to live life content in your own
skin, living 100 per cent as YOU, and not
some cheapened version of you?
Making the change starts quite simply.
Give yourself the permission to head down
this bold and brave path; permission to
drop this false-self, and get out of your
own way so you can break what’s
comfortable, in order to grow. Give yourself
the permission to work on your own picture
of success, and in return, everything will
benefit – your health, your relationships,
your life. So who’s with me?
YOU CAN CONTACT MIKE VIA:
Web: mikecampbell.com.au
Facebook: mikecampbellmancoach
Twitter: @mcampbell2012
Instagram: @mcampbell2014