( PERFORMANCE COACHING )
THE BENEFITS OF
REJECTION
GREG SELLAR
Greg Sellar explains the positive side of rejection .
ejection can be a bit like food –
R it ’ s either delicious or horrible ,
depending on how you cook it .
On the horrible side , it can be crippling because we see rejection as an objective truth about who we are - even though it ’ s not necessarily true . Rejection is just someone ’ s opinion or feelings ( and sometimes it ’ s more representative of the person providing it , than it is of you ). the answer , we don ’ t even bother setting up that meeting or submitting that proposal . Why bother if they ’ re just going to say ‘ no ’?
Legrae once said , ‘ If you live for people ’ s acceptance , you will die from their rejection .’ It ’ s the fear of rejection that led me to believe that in order to lose the fear we need to actively go out and seek rejection .
On the delicious side , rejection can be a love story , a new career , or just a reminder that we can never take what we already have for granted . This is because for everything that hasn ’ t worked out , there are many things that have . You are where you are at this point in time as a direct result of past successes , as much as you are , from past rejections .
The reason we don ’ t often default to this perspective is because we ’ ve been conditioned to see rejection as failure . We ’ ve been taught to give so much power to the ‘ no ’ and so when it hits us it strips us of our self esteem . Hearing ‘ no ’ too often can affect our perceived self worth , which can lead to anxiety and in extreme cases , depression .
The thing is , it ’ s all a big lie .
We think we ’ re being rejected by others , but in truth , we ’ re actually being rejected by ourselves . We ’ ve become so good at fortune telling , thinking we already know
If you ’ ve ever wanted more , all you have to do is ask . I love the story of Jia Jang who idolised Bill Gates and wanted to move to the US from China to pursue the American dream . Five years later after making the move , he ran a slideshow of his future into old-age and saw a repetitive cycle that was going to see him die with regret . He looked up ‘ rejection therapy ’ on the internet , deciding to undertake his own 100-day challenge . His aim was to ask random strangers for crazy things guaranteed to get a ‘ no ’ response . His thinking was if he got 100 people to reject him , he will have developed a bullet-proof response to the number one thing holding him back – his fear of rejection .
In his challenge , Jia went into Burger King and asked for a burger refill , asked a complete stranger in an airport for $ 100 , asked for a haircut in Petsmart , planted flowers in a strangers backyard , drove a cop car , and made the safety announcements on a commercial flight .
Jia ’ s rejection challenge was watched by five million people on YouTube , making him an instant sensation . He has since gone on to write a book called Rejection Proof , and he now makes his living as a global speaker who talks about overcoming your fear of failure .
Do you want to set your fear of rejection free , once and for all ?
For every door that ’ s closed , knowing it ’ s a numbers game , the open door you will get is now one step closer . You ’ ll still be alive at the end of it all , and as JK Rowling wisely said , ‘ If you ever reach rock bottom , you can use it as a solid foundation to rebuild your life .’
Go forth , seek rejection and love the outcome – whatever that outcome is .
For more inspiration and tips to hack the status quo visit www . gregsellar . com
YOU CAN CONTACT GREG VIA : Web : gregsellar . com Facebook : greg . sellar Twitter : @ gregsellar Instagram : @ gregsellar
24 OH ! MAGAZINE ( MARCH 2017 )