OH! Magazine - Australian Version March 2014 (Australian Version) | Page 31

THE 3 THINGS
THAT DRIVE US

PART 3 o
Need t

The nect
Con

Fiona Cosgrove explores the third ‘driver’ in this article
series, examining the need to ‘connect’.
emember how having a sense of
accomplishment is so important to
our sense of wellbeing, and being
independent and in control of our own
destiny has a big impact of how we feel
about our lives? Well, this third element is
actually the most important!
A sense of ‘connection’ to other people is
essential for life satisfaction. Very few
people thrive when they are living in
isolation from others.
Let’s look at the positive part of ‘connection’
first. Think about all the good things in life
that you experience. How many of them are
completely solitary? Sure, you may have
moments of awe, inspiration and
satisfaction with something you do or see,
but it is more likely that when you laughed
uproariously, when you truly feel joy or
happiness or other high points in your life,
the likelihood is high that it was experienced
in the company of others.
Dr Martin Seligman, the ‘father’ of Positive

R

FIONA
COSGROVE

Psychology writes, ‘Other people are the
best antidote to the downs of life.’ Feeling
appreciated is one of the biggest indicators
of satisfaction in the workplace. Being
loved rates the highest in our personal lives.
We seek out connection with others for a
sense of belonging. We have a social brain!
On the other hand, loneliness can be
disabling. Not to be confused with
‘aloneness’, which is necessary and
desirable at times.
The saddest events that occur at the hands
of sociopaths, always have a story of
disconnection,
misunderstanding
or
isolation behind them. In a much lighter
example, one of the factors that cause
members to retain their membership at
health clubs is the member-to-member and

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read parts 1 or 2
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member-to-staff interaction.
In other
words, when people feel that they belong –
and this comes from being part of a group,
not simply the recipient of professional
services or facilities – they are most likely to
continue undertaking the activity.
Achievement of a collective goal is often
more satisfying than an individual goal and
again, to echo Seligman, ‘if you’re feeling
bad, go do something for someone!’ In
Wellness Coaching we say that ‘relationships
are at the heart of coaching’ and it is that
ability to work together, to feel compassion
and empathy, to express kindness and
provide cooperation and love, which is truly
what makes people healthy, happy and
well.

( OH! MAGAZINE ) ISSUE 8

31