OH! Magazine - Australian Version June 2018 - Page 5

( OH WOW ) WHY YOU SHOULDN’T FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT Dr John Demartini explains why the ‘fake it ;til you make it’ notion is a bad idea. ou’ve heard the cliché ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, in the achievement world. Personally, I believe this is a myth. You don’t have to fake who you are in order to achieve what you desire. In fact, if you’re looking to accomplish something meaningful, being the real you – the most authentic you – is the best way to make the biggest difference. Y Here’s why ‘faking it’ is a fallacy. You have a set of priorities – a set of values – that you live your life by. Whenever you set goals that are congruent and aligned with your highest values, you have the greatest probability of achievement. This is because when you are authentic you have the highest awareness of opportunity, you have an ability for quick decision- making, and you take actions with determination and persistence. You walk your talk. You awake your natural-born leadership. You achieve. But whenever you are setting goals that are not congruent with your highest values, you decrease the probability of achievement. You tend to procrastinate, hesitate, frustrate and get easily distracted. It is on these occasions when you may come to believe that you should ‘fake it ‘til you make it’. It’s important to understand however, that a lot of people set up fantasies instead of goals. If you set a goal and you keep hesitating on it – or if you keep having anxieties or fears associated with it – that’s a symptom of an incongruent goal. If you feel that you have to ‘fake it’ then that’s a sign of a lack of confidence and a lack of confidence is a symptom, telling you that you’re trying to be something you’re not. You’re trying to set goals that aren’t yours; or you’re trying to live by priorities that aren’t really important to you and, therefore, you’re having self- depreciating feelings. And you can’t override this type of situation by faking it. You can however, use these feelings to guide you towards a set of real goals, real competencies and realistic objectives. 1. You will automatically persevere at any goal, if you do the following: 5. Consistently take action on these small tasks. Small bites make big dreams come true. No doubt, there are some areas of your life where inspiration and motivation comes easily. Usually, it relates to something in your life that is genuinely highest on your list of values; that is most congruent, is most meaningful, and that is your core competence (meaning, you’re already great at it). This is most often your highest value and, if you set goals in line with it, you don’t need to try very hard to feel motived, incentivised or reminded to work towards it. If you want to achieve, my best advice is ‘don’t fake it’. Instead, just go and do something truly meaningful to you, and achievement will naturally follow. 2. Come to understand your highest values (you can do this for free, here). 3. Set goals that are in your core competence, that are truly congruent with what you really value and that demonstrate what you spontaneously do from within. 4. Break down those goals into small bites – actions so simple that you just go and get them done. Dr John Demartini Dr John Demartini is a renowned entrepreneur, human behaviour expert, founder of The Demartini Institute, and the author of 40 books that have been translated into 31 languages. He has featured in films including The Secret, and he regularly contributes to Oprah Magazine. For more information visit www.drdemartini.com OH! MAGAZINE ( JUNE 2018 ) 5