OH! Magazine - Australian Version June 2016 | Page 18

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( Men’s Health )

MEN... YOU ARE
GOOD ENOUGH!

MIKE
CAMPBELL

Mike Campbell reminds us what matters most is who we are.
o you ever spend too much time in
your head worrying that you’re not
attractive enough or focusing too much
about your flaws? We all do it, myself
included – for me, I hate going bald on
top; having hair was soooo much better!

D

once they’re in the relationship what
becomes most important is that they have
a connection with their partner. And that
is a key driver for a happy life.

The danger with this is that we can play
out a story that says something like, ‘I
need to look a certain way to attract
someone’ or ‘I need to be more attractive
for my partner.’ But listen to me right now:
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH! And you
determine your worth.

Everywhere you look you’ll see there are
people in happy, connected relationships.
And sure, aesthetics probably played a
role in their initial attraction, but beyond
that it is the chemistry that resulted in
connection, which led them to fall in love.
It’s all about that connection; and the
connection should be your goal when it
comes to finding and choosing your mate.

As men, we need to think about what our
motivation for this thinking is – are you
after the hottest partner you can get (i.e.
simply concerned with their looks)? Is that
what spurs on those thoughts we
mentioned earlier? Or do you feel like you
must be good looking in order to attract
someone else?

If you currently place too much importance
on the impact of your looks on your ability
to find someone, then remember this: one
day, those looks will fade, but who you are
will stand the test of time. And that is
what will attract someone – YOU, and who
you are, not how you look or some fake or
forced version of yourself.

Of course physical attractiveness plays a
big part in finding a mate, but it’s
important that you are not solely motivated
by the external validation of getting the
‘hot partner’ or thinking you need to look a
certain way in order to attract or be worthy
of being with someone. Just think about
that for a moment.

When you are 100 per cent YOU, then –
and only then – will the right person
connect with you. And he or she may not
be the best looking person, but they’ll be
the RIGHT one. And that is what truly
matters.

Look at all the guys you know in
relationships. I’m sure many of them are
genuinely happy and some may even be in
love enough to want to get married. So are
all of these guys tall, dark and handsome?
Are they all lean, ripped and shredded? Of
course they aren’t.
So then, what are they happy about? Is it
pride in how good looking their partner is?
I hope that’s not the main reason – maybe
it plays a small part in the beginning, but

18

JUNE 2016 ( OH! MAGAZINE )

Now if you’re sitting there, reading this
and thinking ‘Yeah that’s okay for you to
say Mike, you’ve got XYZ’ (where XYZ is
something you might wish for yourself),
then you’re still immersed in the problem.
Because what you’re doing right there is
comparing yourself to someone else. And
in doing so, you’re still attributing those
assets as to why me (or anyone else) is in
a happy relationship. This is both futile
and disrespectful (after all, if I speak for
myself, I am so much more than just a
body, face and a balding head!)

But seriously, yes, we do judge a book by
its cover to some extent, and physical
attraction shouldn’t be devalued. However,
if you fuel your desire for physical
improvement from a place of self-respect
and pride, not only do you make it more
meaningful but that, in itself, becomes
attractive. For example, I’m ME and my
beloved Nardia happens to love ME. Yes
looks are part of it, but my appearance
can’t do the whole job – it can’t make her
laugh, challen ge her to grow, cook her
meals, or make her feel safe, loved and
significant. I do those things – me, as a
person.
To say it’s someone’s appearance as to
why they’re in a relationship is selling
both them and you short, because you’re
missing all of your awesomeness.
Love that lasts is all about finding the
connection that makes us happy and
brings us joy, significance, acceptance,
love, safety and desire.
If you’ve read all this and you still feel like
you’re stuck here then ask yourself ‘Why
do you want a different body or look?’
‘What do you think it would provide for
you?’
The truth is, you have all you need right
there in that head of yours, and all you
need to do is let the world see it and those
that dig it will dig it. You dig?

YOU CAN CONTACT MIKE VIA:
Web: mikecampbell.com.au
Facebook: mikecampbellmancoach
Twitter: @mcampbell2012
Instagram: @mcampbell2014