OH! Magazine - Australian Version February 2018 | Page 6

( OH WOW )
JULES SEBASTIAN
MUM ON A MISSION
Analee Matthews catches up with Jules Sebastian to discuss
motherhood, marriage and her mission to be mindful.
ules Sebastian has long been
recognised as the gorgeous
childhood sweetheart and wife of
Australian Idol winner Guy Sebastian, but
these days she’s enjoying a more
independent reputation as a stylist,
ambassador for the H2coco Lunchbox
Range, founder and host of Tea With Jules,
and mum to two boys, Hudson, aged five
and Archie, aged three. What was most
impressive during our 30-minute chat with
the blonde-haired beauty, is her openness
and relatability.
J
‘I think at some point, most mothers feel
like they’re just getting through each day
by the skin of their teeth,’ she explains.
‘They feel stressed and exhausted at the
end of every day – I know I definitely did
for a while. But then one day I realised,
and I decided that I didn’t want to feel like
that anymore. I didn’t want to feel so
stressed out and I didn’t want to find
myself yelling at everyone all day. I also
didn’t want to be checking emails, having
to make phone calls or having my mind
elsewhere when the kids wanted to spend
time with me. I realised that I wasn’t in the
conversation with them; I was there but I
wasn’t really there with them. I’d feel
annoyed when I had to drop everything to
go and pick them up – but it’s not their
fault; we had them so we have to take care
of them!’
‘I love working and I love having a career
and it’s important for me to have my
independence in that way – it’s important
to have something in life that isn’t about
the kids. But I realised what I wanted my
priorities to be, because at that point in
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OH! MAGAZINE ( FEBRUARY 2018 )
time they were both still so little and
needed me for so much, so I made a
conscious decision to get really involved,
so I could become the mum I actually
wanted to be. So I try to make everyday fun
for them and that makes it fun for me;
there’s no point making it a drag because
no one has a good time. Being present and
doing pick ups and drop offs and being
super involved in activities like sport… it
enabled me to be a soccer mum, really!
And being able to do and enjoy both a
career and motherhood means I don’t feel
like I’m missing out on anything.’
‘To be honest, I’ve only recently gotten a
handle on this,’ she admits. ‘Before, I felt
quite chaotic; like I had to do everything
and be everything. For example, I’m a
clean freak and I love having a clean and
perfectly neat house. But I now realise, at
the end of the day, a mess doesn’t really
matter; it’s not the most important thing.
It’s taken me a long time to be able to walk
past a pile of toys and resist the urge to
tidy them up, but I know now that it will
get done eventually and that’s good
enough.’
‘This was a really big shift for me because
we’re often pulled in so many different
directions. We find ourselves thinking
about all these tiny things that cause
anxiety to build up, and before we know it
we’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed.
Instead, we should just try and be in the
moment, doing what we’re doing, taking
time to just focus on the task at hand. It’s
much easier and less stressful. I feel like
we are all trying to live outside our
capacity; trying to do way too much, and
we’re imploding as a result. Everyone I see
looks like they’re running and sprinting
and stressing. We seem to be forgetting
that we are only one person who can only
do one thing at one time. We can only do
so much, and what we can do is enough!
What I’ve found is when we make space to
just be and to focus on now, the result is a
life that feels less stressful and a lot more
fun!’
It’s this type of attitude that may explain
how these two childhood sweethearts, who
met at age 15, have managed to
successfully
sustain
their
18-year
relationship, which will reach a 10-year
marriage milestone in May of this year.
‘I’ve known Guy since he was 15 and I
think the key to a long term relationship
like ours is being friends. We were friends
before we got romantically involved so we
knew each other really well beforehand.
And we still are good friends today. We
share and talk about everything that is
going on in our lives, like friends do. We
have a laugh; we can hang out on the
couch and watch a movie; he’s really good
company and I like being around him
which I think is important in a relationship.’
‘I knew what I was getting myself into; I
knew that our life was not going to be a
normal or nine-to-five type and that every
day would be different for us. Guy travels
here and there, and I know that I have to
share him with the country. I knew it from
the beginning, and I knew I would have to
embrace it, accept it and go with it. I can’t
get a bee in my bonnet over it because the
alternative is that we all live a miserable