OH! Magazine - Australian Version December 2016 - Page 40

( Emotional Fitness )


Emotional fitness expert Heidi Di Santo explains the importance of presence .
espite what you might think , when
D it comes to giving someone ‘ the best gift ever ’, it ’ s not something you can physically buy . It is an intangible gift – something from the heart . Let me explain .
Have you ever been with someone physically , but mentally and emotionally they ’ re absent ? ‘ The lights are on but no one is home ’. You may have experienced this when you ’ re out with someone . Despite being in your physical presence , they seem distracted by other things such as their phone , what ’ s going on at work or even capturing the moment on social media . Or perhaps you ’ ve knowingly ( or unknowingly ) done this to someone else .
If you ’ re familiar with this scenario , here ’ s what ’ s actually being spoken subliminally .
Because actions speak so much louder than words , when you ’ re with someone physically and you ’ re distracted mentally or emotionally , it actually says to that person that they ’ re not important – that other things rank higher in your list of priorities . Yes , I know this might not be the message you want to be sending , but it ’ s what ’ s being spoken via your actions .
Problems are often caused in relationships because people aren ’ t able to sync their physical presence with their mental and emotional presence .
So how does this relate to gifts ( I hear
you ask )? Well , in my opinion , the
greatest gift you can give anyone is your
attention .
I ’ ve been working one on one with people for many years and it ’ s apparent that most people are starving to be seen , heard and understood by those around them . Emotionally speaking , most adults are children trapped in adult bodies who crave authentic connection . They don ’ t want more ‘ stuff ’. Deep down their true need is to be loved and accepted .
You only have to look at celebrities who have all the fame and things that money can buy , who turn to drugs and other addictions to fill the void within , to realise that stuff doesn ’ t make you happy . I admit that the latest gadget , holiday or new car can bring about a short term spike in happiness . But if you crave lasting peace and happiness , you can only meet that need by going within and truly satisfying the real need that most people unknowingly and so desperately crave .
Most people are fragmented and have parts within that are wounded because they didn ’ t get the love and acceptance needed to thrive in life . They survive by wearing a mask and unconsciously pushing these unwanted parts deep into the subconscious .
My work is about helping people to heal internally by reconnecting with these parts , so they can set a solid foundation for their life and ultimately connect more authentically with others . It ’ s all about relationships . When you improve the relationship you have with yourself , you naturally improve the relationship you have with others .
Sadly , many people don ’ t know how to connect at this raw and intimate level because it requires work . Unless you ’ ve worked on yourself and have learned to love and accept all parts of ‘ YOU ’, it ’ s impossible to give this type of love to anyone else . As the saying goes ‘ you can ’ t pour from an empty cup ’. You need to fill your cup up with love and acceptance first before you can give it to anyone else .
So if you ’ re feeling disconnected with the people around you , you might want to think about improving the relationship with yourself . A high degree of selfawareness , consciousness and presence is truly needed to authentically connect with another . It ’ s the best gift you can give and it all begins with you .
To find out more visit http :// heidi . com . au
YOU CAN CONTACT HEIDI VIA : Web : heidi . com . au Facebook : Heidi-Di-Santo-Emotional- Fitness-Specialist-299600633422574 /