OH! Magazine - Australian Version December 2015 - Page 13

HEIDI DI SANTO HOW TO DEAL WITH www.heidi.com.au ( Emotional Fitness ) AGGRESSIVE PEOPLE Heidi Di Santo helps you deal with stressed out people during the silly season. t’s that time again. The ‘silly season’ is almost upon us and the pressure is on. It’s meant to be a happy time but it often brings a lot of added work and stress. People have more to do and less time to do it in. There’s the financial pressure of buying presents and food and of course there’s more people shopping and fewer car parks! At this time of year, individual tolerance levels are low and unfortunately many people lose control and take their anger and frustration out on others. I So how do you deal with random angry strangers when you’re on the receiving end of someone’s anger? I’ve got four tips to help you keep calm and take control. 1. It’s about them not you If you’re on the receiving end of negativity, what you’ve got to realise is that this person has lost control and it is more about them than you. In an ideal world everyone would be treated with love and respect. So even if you’ve done nothing wrong and have provoked the situation, if someone is being disrespectful towards you, you don’t deserve to be intimated, shamed, belittled or bullied by another. If you ever find yourself in this situation, just know that the bully is weak and wounded inside and their wounds are being shown to the world through their behavior. Start to see it as their problem not yours. throwing fuel onto a fire. No good ever comes of ‘right fighting’. The best thing you can do is say ‘sorry’ (if you’ve done something wrong) and walk away. If there’s been no provocation on your behalf, wish them all the best and walk away. The message is don’t engage! By doing this, you’ll throw water on the fire and start to diffuse the situation. 3. Diffuse your emotions Whenever an incident like this occurs, you’re often left holding onto some often unwelcome emotions such as anger, fear and sadness. The worst thing you can do is to try and ignore or suppress these emotions. If you do this, your tolerance levels will reduce and then you could find yourself being the bully and ‘unloading’ your unfelt emotions on someone else. So how do you process these feelings? You allow them to be there and you don’t try to talk yourself out of them. Feelings are energy and when you allow that energy to be in your body the energy starts to diffuse. I have written a whole chapter on processing emotional energy in my book ‘I Should Be Happy But I’m Not’ if you wanted to know more about this. 4. Get help If you are the random angry and aggressive stranger, know that taking your anger out on someone else is not okay. It shows a loss of control of your internal world and a lack of emotional fitness. When you start to take responsibility for YOU and your inner wellbeing, you become really powerful. To learn about how to take control of your inner world and step into your power, have a read of my book I Should Be Happy But I’m Not or download my FREE eBook 5 Secrets to Success and Happiness. Both are available from http://heidi.com.au 2. Don’t retaliate When a random person is angry or aggressive towards you, the worst thing you can do is to retaliate. When you meet anger with anger, things get worse. It’s like ( OH! MAGAZINE ) DECEMBER 2015 13