Editorial
W
e don ’ t fly these days . Flying is , well , the planet you know . It ’ s My Fine Wife ’ s doing really - she ’ s more principled than me - but I agree with her , so we just don ’ t do it . But sometimes you ’ ve got to do what you ’ ve got to do , and so a few weeks ago , I found myself sitting in row 5 , seat A listening to someone telling me the exits are here , here and here . In Spanish .
I haven ’ t been in a plane for years , since long before Covid , and I ’ d been unashamedly excited . We live , objectively speaking of course , in the best place in the UK , but there ’ s still something exciting and romantic about travel . When I was young , I used to go to Heathrow and just hang around , watching the planes fly off , wondering where they were going , fantasing about the adventures , wondering what it was like the other side of the “ Departures ” sign .
I ’ ve been on a few planes since then , but there ’ s still something curiously glam about flying , still something a bit jet set . It ’ s kinda like still thinking a sun tan and smoking still look cool . But then again ... they do still look cool . They shouldn ’ t , but they do .
There ’ s nothing cool about row 5 , seat A . I ’ m not sure Danny Wilde and Lord Brett Sinclair ever travelled Economy , and even if The Terrible Thing did happen I ’ m not sure I could get to the exits that are aquí , aquí y aquí because , as my new best friend , the
If you go down to the Basketmakers on Gloucester Road you will see , above the mantelpiece , a very large black and white photograph . It shows Brighton beach , desolate and grey except for a Punch and Judy stall , and a solitary child , in shorts , pointing and laughing at it .
It is a very striking photo . It could be timeless – the shorts might have something to do with that , as well as the anachronistic Punch and Judy box . But I remember being very struck by the photograph , because I had seen it before , in the home of Roger Bamber , the photographer .
It was Roger , and his partner , the sister guy sitting next to me , said “ It ’ s cosy here , isn ’ t it ”.
It ’ s quick and it ’ s cheap and I suppose that ’ s good in a sense , but really . Think about it . Anything that sells itself on being quick and cheap … it ’ s probably not going to be a great experience .
“ Come and eat at our restaurant - it ’ s really quick and cheap ”. It ’ s not where you ’ re going to go on your hot first date . On the other hand , I ’ ve just described the global fast food industry so maybe that ’ s not the best example .
The whole flying experience is a bit odd . Before squeezing yourself into row 5 , seat A you spend an hour and a half wandering around a faceless soulless shopping mall full of shops selling a variety of men ’ s clothes , women ’ s clothes , posh bags , shops that don ’ t exist anywhere else , shops that are completely empty . I walked into a men ’ s clothes shop , the t-shirts were all neatly folded into squares and the shirts were hanging up . I said “ Hello ” to the woman behind the till . She shuffled uncomfortably , like she didn ’ t quite know what to do .
“ It ’ s quick and it ’ s cheap ” - and as clunky links go , this is up there - made me think about this issue of Your Mighty Whistler . The reason we don ’ t fly isn ’ t because the experience is rubbish ; it ’ s because the
of my best friend , who introduced me to Brighton after my friend and I had graduated in 1984 . They were both working for the Sun at the time , and even if you despised its politics it was a fine place to work at the time , and Roger and Shan were very fine people to know .
After graduating , my friend and I found ourselves with time one our hands and little inclination to fill it with anything even remotely resembling hard work . Roger , who at the time was at the unimaginably ancient age of 40 , loved his work but did not keep regular hours that we could tell of , so our trips down to Brighton usually fell into a routine of noon visits to the local bar – a dive off Silwood Road whose chief virtue , as far as I could tell , was its proximity to his home . He seemed to survive on nothing more than Complan , white wine , and Gitanes . Leicester-born , but very happily relocated to Brighton , he taught us how to drink responsibly – that is , to enormous excess , but never behaving badly as a result . Being old-school Fleet Street , and a few years older than his partner , he would tell planet . And if you read “ Gull About Town ”, Feedback Special and the interview with Philip Lymbery , they ’ re all also because the planet . Everyone likes quick , everyone likes cheap , but we ’ re a little bit past that now . We ’ ve got to really start being a bit more careful and if Philip Lymbery is right and there are only 60 harvests left ... quick and cheap won ’ t cut it anymore . As mother used to say , you get what you pay for . Maybe it ’ s time to stop doing quick and cheap . Maybe it ’ s time to take a bit more care , to take a bit more time and if it costs a bit more , well do it less often .
View From The Hill ... Nicholas Lezard
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us eye-widening stories about his fellow hacks . The highlights included the time a reporter pinched a vulture from the zoo and put it in the subs ’ office (“ you ’ ve crapped over us for years , now it ’ s our turn ”) and the interview with Ray Charles which ended with the words “ Jesus Christ , no wonder you ’ re fucking blind .” And it was he and Shan who , in the small hours of October 1984 , who thumped on the ceiling above us to say , “ get your coats , there ’ s been a bomb at the fucking Grand ,” and we drove down there at speed through the empty streets to talk to Tory delegates with plaster all over their dressing gowns .
And on Sunday 11th September , he died . How he had managed to live until his late 70s is something of a miracle in itself , but his last years were not easy . But when he was thriving he had a charm and a gift for friendship that was unsurpassable . He swapped a 1970s Nikon F2 of his for my grandfather ’ s wartime Zippo ; an unfair exchange , but I have that camera still . Thee will be a book of his photos coming out next year . RIP , old friend .