18 lagunabeachindy . com OCTOBER 21 , 2022
GUEST OPINION
Dear Susi Q :
BY CLINT CHRISTIE
Q : My wife has retired after an active career . She watches TV all day and while she puts headphones on , we have such a small place , the constant action on the screen makes me irritable . ( I ’ m retired too ). How can I handle this ?
A : Newly ( and not so newly ) retired couples often navigate these kinds of issues . Retirement is a difficult time of transition for many people .
The root cause of irritability , in this case , may not be about the TV viewing itself but instead the sense that this person has lost his partner to an inanimate object . Being transfixed on what ’ s happening on the screen all day means that his wife is not available in real life , or IRL , as the shorthand text version has it , to spend any significant time with him ( assuming the questioner is male ).
I ’ d suggest that the husband invites his partner to take part in some favorite shared activity , whether it ’ s a walk , going out to lunch together , or playing cards , for example , the way they used to . He might talk to her about his feelings that they ’ ve lost connection and that he misses that , and her . Maybe he suggests she take up another hobby , such as crossword puzzles , or , if she used to love reading , he could research book clubs she could join .
The Susi Q has a range of activities and programs for active adults , from discussion groups about current affairs to yoga classes to travel presentations and more . These are great opportunities to socialize with others in similar situations , which both partners could enjoy together or separately .
Another option is for her to record programs and watch them at a time when he is out of the house . If she resists , there may be more going on with her than appears on the surface . Perhaps she is depressed or anxious . These are feelings that he might gently suggest that she explore with a thera-
CHRISTIE , page 36