be labeled a canine hoarder? Neighbors would ask on our walks,“ You have three now?” During our dark winter strolls, donning our reflective gear and blinking lights, we must have looked like a mini – Macy’ s Thanksgiving Day parade.
A dear friend and I caught up for lunch.“ What was the thinking behind three dogs?” he asked. Which was code for“ Are you nuts?”
“ Thinking?” I responded.“ You think I thought about this?”
OVER THE PAST YEAR, Jake the Wonder Dog, as I called him, developed multiple health problems. His visits to the vet became more frequent. He was diagnosed with an enlarged heart, which put pressure on his larynx and esophagus. He had a growth on his ear. A flight of meds silenced his involuntary coughing. When the cough returned, more medication was added. I bought a mortar and pestle so I could grind them up like an old-fashioned pharmacist and feed them to him.
I made weekly trips to the vet’ s pharmacy. He was up to almost ten prescriptions, including narcotics, which I managed through his pill case on the kitchen counter. Yet the coughing, which now sounded like asphyxiation, continued. I would wake up in the middle of the night, in the early mornings, to a horrendous, gruff cough, giving me a sick, sinking feeling.
I doubled his meds when I could. When he wasn’ t coughing, he was panting at a high and unnatural pitch, since his heart was also affected. Finally, after weeks of denial and much soul-searching— Was I being selfish? Did he have a good quality of life?— he stopped eating. That meant his meds were not entering his body.
I called the vet and got ready to say goodbye to my best friend. It was surreal; heartbreakingly reminiscent of when I first divorced. There was not a dry eye on anyone at the vet’ s office that day.
My home is just a little emptier now. When I’ m alone, it’ s my time to mourn, and the remaining dogs join me in quiet sorrow.
There is a great quote I will always remember:“ Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.”
Rest in peace, Jakie, my boy. You were such a good boy. 🆁
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