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AR T S & CU LT U RE
Jurisfoodence: York University
LUKE JOHNSTON &
DAN MOWAT-ROSE
Staff Writers
Laugh now, cry later, Osgoode. This is our 3L
swan song, our last dance. And we’ve saved this
dance for you. After today, we’re handing off the
column to our successor contributors, who we
hope will continue in our stead by leaving a trail of
steaming culinary justice across the GTA.
Our inspiration for this week’s column is the
misguided but well-known rhyming couplet that
equates the ability to grip cutlery with fulfillment
of the admission criteria at the very University
with which Osgoode affiliated itself back in 1969.
Unfortunate derogatory tone aside, the association between “a fork” and York is relevant to our
adventures. Without any more delay, here is our
rapid fire rundown of the best, and worst, that
Keele campus has to offer.
Goodman’s Bistro:
Dan: No analysis of campus food options would
be complete without mentioning the Aramarkrun abomination that is the bistro. I take umbrage
with almost everything this place does. My only
positive is interacting with the staff, who are all
friendly and mostly free of responsibility for the
bistro’s failures. A special shout-out to Alice the
afternoon cashier, she’s a gem. Unfortunately
Rodolfo et al. don’t serve alcohol but you can slake
your thirst and fulfill your JCRticling requirement
across Gowlings Hall on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons.
Luke: Dan! Are you taking shots at our organic,
sustainable, and artisanal eatery? That’s how it
was pitched to me on Welcome Day anyway… I
too have many tales about plastic fork fees, expired
tuna sandwiches and tepid tea water. Alas, out
of respect for Rodolfo, and in light of the scores
of noodle stir-frys I ate in first year, I think we
should focus elsewhere!
Dan: Alright then. To the Lanes!
York Lanes Food Court:
The Islands:
Dan: Jerk chicken from this place is fantastic. The
sauce is rich and the spiciness is on point. Pro tip:
ask for gravy from the oxtail dish
poured over your lunch special: a
few pieces of chicken, rice and coleslaw for less than $5.
Luke: We’re on the same page here.
The chicken is tender and has perfect texture. You get a huge portion
for that price. Cons: lineups get to be
an issue, and you might get shot.
The Underground: AGCO
Licensed
Dan: If an afternoon adult beverage
and some terrible service is your
thing, look no further. Wings, burgers, flat bread etc. are the offerings
here, along with York’s best-stocked
bar (sorry Zorn). The food is okay,
but maybe stick to drinking.
Luke: I’ve have had zero good experiences here. Food should be grown
underground Danny, not eaten
there! Slow service, limp flavours
and general staff indifference.
Sushi Mac:
Luke: Now we’re talking! I can’t
understand why people line up
for crappy burgers and horrifying
Thai food when Sushi Mac is right
S o a p o p e r a s a n d r o ti "R