In economics, the term ‘critical mass’
refers to the point at which a company
becomes self-sustaining, and no longer
needs additional investment to remain
viable.
Publishers Note
And, despite having zero peer-reviewed
data to make this claim, I firmly believe
that, with parenting, four children can
also be quantified as critical mass. The
number at which you can add extra kids,
and not even notice any difference. The cake goes into the oven, the spoons
are getting licked, and I pop out of the
kitchen for just bit. Honestly, it was no
more than five minutes. Upon my return, I
found my three year old, Audrey, (or
Awful, as I have since dubbed her)
had taken the remaining 32 eggs from
the benchtop cartons, and tossed them
against the floor, the walls, the furniture.
Basically, anything with a surface.
You see, I’ve got a swag of kids. Four of
them, under 9 years of age. Horrendously, that’s actually not the
worst part of this story.
At the best of times, it’s complete and
utter chaos.
Every other time, you
are actually in a warzone. And don’t
even speak to me about the mess.
But surprisingly, adding extra kids to the
mix doesn’t add to the chaos. In fact, the
more kids that are in our backyard, the
easier the parenting task becomes. The worst part of the story is I thought
I had found all the broken eggs. Two
days later, I learned that I hadn t.
(*vomits*)
That was certainly my theory until recently,
when my husband went away to work
for a month. That’s when I realised that
having a heap of kids is truly gruelling.
It’s repetitive. And it’s bloody hard
work.
And, if making the twenty
school lunches each week doesn’t
bring you to your knees, the bed-
hopping, the arguing and the extra-
curricular activities actually will.
On a side note, it appears my
husband does more around the house
than I may actually give him credit for.
(Sorry about that, dear!)
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dozen eggs were on the kitchen bench.
Last weekend, the kids were pining for
their dad, so I thought it would be a great
idea to bake a cake. Now, I’m not famous
for my domestic prowess, however it was
a packet mix. What could possibly go
wrong, right?
Big families equal big wee ly grocery
orders. urs includes 24 litres of milk, 50
bananas, 50 apples,
litres of yoghurt
and 36 eggs, among other things.
After using three of the eggs for the cake
mix, and losing one of them to a
sibling jostle, the remainder of the three
So, I’m convinced that being a FIFO
wife sucks. It sucks eggs.
Now, as I eagerly anticipate the return
of my husband (which incidentally will
occur precisely two minutes before I
check into the nearest hotel for a few days
of me-time) I want to send out a
massive Christmas wish to all the
families out there, no matter which way
you are doing it.
To the single parents, I take my hat off
to you. To the nuclear families, the
blended families,
the
extended
families, the childless families, the
grand-families and the fur-families. To
the heroes raising kids that don’t have
your DNA.
The Oasis Magazine team wish all of you
the most sensational time over the
holidays! Stay ha y, stay hydrated, stay
safe, and try to stay sane!
Cheers,
Jules xx
JULES STEER
Publisher | Oasis Magazine
E: [email protected]
P: 0423 959 648
4031 4112
FRIDAYS ONLY
idareyou.com.au
Shop 21 Oceana Walk
55 Lake Street, Cairns
Issue 21 |
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