Oasis Magazine - Cairns & Tropical North Queensland Issue 15 - Dec|Jan 2017 | Page 9

WARNER’S CORNER Dave Warner | STAR 102.7 A very hairy Christmas It’s interesting how the Ferris wheel of facial hair turns. Australia in the 70’s and 80’s was a time when we as a nation said enough is enough and declared that having a hairy face was no longer the domain of the Russian Women’s Weightlifting team. If it was good enough for Magnum P.I, Catweazle and any porn star pool cleaner worth his salt chlorinator then by jingo it was good enough for the entire Australian cricket team. Walters, Walker, Hookes, Marsh, Lillee and the Chappels were all sporting the latest in soup strainers - like a Rogain revolution for the top lip. Take a look at today’s baby faced line up, the only thing that resembles a hair is the running between the wickets. If you had hair on your chest, you were a man’s man. Buttons were redundant. Look at the Solo Man, a guy who could ‘slam it down fast’, hairiest chest ever. As a kid I did wonder whether Solo was to be applied externally given the amount of ‘light on the fizz’ that cascaded out of the man’s mouth and onto his chest in the TV ad. They were selling masculinity in a can and I bought it. On the music side of things it was all big hair and stadium cock rock. Bon Jovi, Def Leppard and Motley Crue. Hair was so huge it was almost illegal. (Warning: dad’s joke approaching) Police actually combed the area looking for evidence. Then along comes the nude nuts Right Said Fred to wreck everything with ‘I’m Too Sexy’. They were so bald you could see what they were thinking. Suddenly no h