NYU Black Renaissance Noire Volume 18 Issue 1 - Winter 2018 - Page 100

He ’ s Been On This Train For Years
recruiting assassins from the ranks of the terminally ill , enduring the nightmare of the naked man who enters with a butcher knife & will not leave , dreams of seductions that will never be — while time raced past on the back of a tiger .
Some nights he remembers where & why & even what he wore : It was Tucumcari , Fire & Ice , a black leather jock . In the light of day , he tries to forget those early years : There was always cocaine & gin , sodomy & Ruthie ’ s ruptured eyes . There was
father ’ s war , mother ’ s acquiescence & random acts of violence : the razor under the porch , brass knuckles & shattered glass . There was the dancer in red , around her shoulders & down one arm a shimmering boa weaving , with every gesture , every
flourish , every twist & turn would flick its tongue to taste his cheek . There were casual sightings of wives & dead babies , an enraged elephant & out of the mist his hobbled shadow . He ’ d once intended stalking the unsuspecting , enticing them
to his rooms where he kept the cages . When he thought of going home , starting over & making amends , the twitching would begin & bleeding from the rectum . There ’ s little hope for retribution , his strength gave out years before —
seventy three hundred days & still no peace .
49 BLACK RENAISSANCE NOIRE
But Uncle James was dead, and it had been a sad day. There would be no more dancing and kisses on the forehead. But maybe, just maybe, somebody had made a mistake and thought he was dead, but he really wasn’t. Because I’m telling you, when that lightning lit up the room, I saw him sitting over there in that rocking chair, just as sure as I was lying there between Mama and Daddy. But still, I knew what I had seen. There was no denying that when that lightning struck, it lit up the room, and I could see a man sitting in the rocking chair. It was his ghost, Uncle James’s ghost. Why did he come to our house after his funeral? Was he going to haunt us? Was he dead or alive? What did he wa $݅́ѽ͍ɕѼ)хݽѽ͍ɕѼѼͱ)$Ёѡɔѥ́U)́)ѡЁѕɅ䁍ͭи)QЁѥ'e͕U))ٔѡɕѡ́ɔ)Ѡѡ䁍Ʌѥ!)ݕЁ䁙аq5Aɥϊ)䁉ѡ䇊teͅ)ɽչͥ䁍ѥ)ݥѠ́х'e)ոѼѡѡȁ́ͼ$ձ)ɅЁ܁U)́)ЁݥѠ%Ё݅́ͼѡ)Ʌѥȁ䁍ͥ́)1) éѡ̸]ݕɔѡ)յȁ̰ͥɸѡ))չ)ձ䰁ȁ՝и啅ȁ݅)ȁȁɕչ)єݥѠɉՔ݅ѕɵ)ɕՅ䁅)չЁé͔)չЁѡЁ͔)ɐݔٕɥЁЁȰͼ)Ё݅́əи5ѡхѼ)݅́ͅɝ)ѡɕ]ݕɔ)ѡЁѼɥٔѡЁѼٔ)ѡЁ݅́䁵͔ѡ)Ё$eЁ́ѡQɔ)݅́ȁȁѡɽݸ̰䁽а)) ͕Ѽ͹)̰ͥݡٕȁݔ)ոɽ̸=ѥ1)ɥѼ̸MЁ՝Ё)ѡѽ̸]Ёݡ)ѼЁȁݸݥэ̸)$ձeЁ݅Ёѥ$݅́ɽݸ$)ѡ՝Ёѡݡ$ɥ)ݡȁݥѡЁ͹)ѕȁѡٕ݅́ȁЁչЁḛ)$ٕЁݡݽձ)ɥUQU))ٕȁѼȁ͔ȁ)Րх5䁉ɽѡȁI䁅)$ݽձ͔ѡ͕Ёȁ)ЁɅͼݔձȁѡ)́ѡɕ́)ݡ݅́ѡЁ͡ɬѕ)́ѽɥ́՝ɐ)]՝ѽЁͥѱ䰁ͼ)ݔݽձeЁ͍ٕɕٕ͑ɽ)ͥݔݕɔ͕Ѽ)ѡ$ٕȁ݅ѕѡ͔)ѥ́Ѽ)QѹՍ]́)ѥѡɔ$݅́ѽ͍ɕѼ)$䁕́ЁЁ)ɅЁ$ձ͕݅)é$ѡɔɽ镸)ݡЁ͕̰ѕ)Ѽ͹ɔͽѱ䰁ɔ$)Ѽͱ)Րѡչȁ͡)݅$ݽɕU))́݅́ѥѡɔq$ЁѼ͕t)$ͅѼ͕qQ́ѥݡѡ)ѹ̰͡'e)ٕȁЁѡЁɽȻt$ѡɔ)ѕѼѡѽɴ她Ѽɔ)ЁɅѕ丁'eɅ͔)ɥЁ܁Ё՝ͼ$ձ)ٕȁé͡ձȸ$)ٕȁѡ́ͥՅѥɔ)̸͕Mձ$݅5)䁅ѕѡݡЁ݅)$ѼɔЁݡ)Ѽѡ$ɕɕ)QЁЁյȁݡ$݅́ݸ)ѡɴ-Ս䰁$ɐ)ɅхѼͽ)$܁ѡɔ݅́䁕͔ѡɔ)ٕ剽䁡)$Ѽѡ͔Ѽ)ͽͱٕ́ѼɽѕЁ)ɵ́ɽѡݕЁ̸]ݕ)Q͔ѡ́ձѥ)ͽ䁩Ёٔԁ͡Ё)ѡݡɔѡ͡ЁԸ)Aհ)݅䰁$ɕɅ݅́)ѡͼ$ݕЁѼȁɽѼ)䁅͕ݡ݅́͡хѼ) Ё݅́ͥ͡ѥѡх)݅䃊PѼ)U$͡eЁЁ) ͥаݡ͕)ѼхѼ͕ѡѥ)ͽѥ́ݽձЁɅéѥ)݅͡Ո́݅ɽչ)хɥͥͽ́)Mѥ́݅́ո)ѡȁѥ́ݽձ͔ԁа)ԁͭՕѥ$݅́Ʌ)и!݅́ͥݼ̰)͕Ѽѕ́݅́)ȁ́$ѡ՝Ё݅́)她Ё$݅ͻeЁɔͼ$݅)Ё䁕唁и)=䁡ݕЁѼѥ)ݸ͕ѥ͕ѡ)Qѽ݅䁅ѕȁѡи)Qͅ䁡Ё́$݅)͔ٕͅѡ՝$݅́Ʌ)Ё́ ͥЁ݅)չ䁅!ٔ́ɥ́)́!eх́Ѽ)݅ѕɵѡ䁥Ё)ѡ݅䁉Qѽ)݅䰁$eЁ݅Ёѡх)Ʌ݅丁$啱)аqɅ]ԁхѼ)Ʌt)ٕ䁵ѕȁѱ͡ͅ+qܰЁeЁѡЁѡ̸)Q݅ЁѼх䁡ɔЁѡ䁍eи)$ѽѡѡ䁝ЁѼܸ)Q䁑ѡӊéЁѡ݅䁥Ё̻t+q Ё$eЁ͕aɅݡɔ)ѡ䁅t$ͭ+qQ䁉ٕݡɔM)͕aͽeи Ёɔ)AɥͥЁЁѼɅt)$ͥхѕ$eЁ݅ЁѼͥѥ)ЁѼ̸ Ё$܁$݅)ͅݥѠɅ)=ѡݥ͔$͕͍݅́́)䁉ՍѕѠ䁱́ѡЁݕɔ)ѽѽͭ丁U))ݽձ́䁍ȁɕ)ͽѥ́'eЁ)ոɽչݔݕɔ)!ɵɕ)܁$݅́Ёɥи)݅́͵qQӊé܁)͉dt$ѡ՝и ɵ)Qɬͽ)ݕе͵)ḛ$݅́ͱݥѠ)ѡQ͡ձݸͥѡ)ѽݥѠѡѼU)ϊe)չɅѡЁ$ݽձѽ͍ɕѼ)ͱ䁽ݸٕ剽䁭)$͍݅́䁅ɽѼѵɕ̸)]ٕȁ'eٽ́)ͽѡɔ'eɽչѡ)ɹȁѼɕϊdɽq5)'e͍ɕ쁍$ͱݥѠet)ݽձՍq]Ё)͍ɕAɥt'eչ)͡ձ́Ёхѡɔ)ѥհMѡeͅ䰃q )t'e她ɐЁѼ)Ё$܁ѡѡЁѡ)ձЁ$݅́ݕѡ)]ѕٕȁЁ݅́ݽձЁЁ)ѡ́Ё͕͔)ݡͅݥɽѕѕ)Ё٥)!݅́䁙ٽɥє!݅́х)䁅)ȸͼ)ͽqQɗé䁱ѱAɥ̳ t)eͅ䰃qͽѡЁ՝Ȼt)Aɥ́݅́䁹͔)ѡӊéݡЁٕ剽݅ѕѼ)ѕȁ䁝ɕеչЁAɥ̸)Mѡ䁍Aɥ́ȁAɥ)$Ёɥ̰ݡٕ)U)́݅́ɽչ