d ROBERT’ S WORLD
A Pound of Flesh
BY ROBERT SMYTH
My fat cells must be Christian, because they have everlasting life.
Why is it that the older we get, the harder it is to lose weight? My doctor recently gave me an ultimatum: either lose weight or become the poster child for diabetes.
Now, I’ ve always been right on the border between being overweight and the guy who orders the left side of the menu with double fries but never has the diabetes thing come up. So, like any man who’ s played a fairly sloppy first three quarters of the life game, I listened to what he had to say this time. To be fair, my wife was with me, so I was forced to listen to what he had to say or else.
Since then, I’ ve tried really hard to go in the right direction. I’ ve started eating a low-carb diet. I’ m up and moving around more and try and get to the gym when I can. So, I felt like I was doing OK. But when I recently stepped on the scale, it showed I’ d only lost 3½ pounds. Wait, I’ ve turned down mounds and mounds of delicious desserts and pastas for a measly 3½ pounds?
Needless to say, I was miffed, so I decided to do some research and see what the problem might be. Turns out, I’ m old. Here’ s an explanation I found on a site called GreatSeniorLiving. com:
You may also have to revise your ideas about dieting if you and your healthcare provider determine that losing weight will help your overall health. That’ s because many seniors find that weight loss gets more challenging as they get older. While slower weight loss can be frustrating, it’ s also a natural part of the aging process. … Although it might seem unfair in today’ s more sedentary world, this process makes sense from an evolutionary standpoint. Long ago, as we grew older and our hunting and gathering abilities slowed down, our bodies had to learn how to survive on less food. The
If you’ re 60 or older, you should get to eat 20 % more sweets and not gain any weight. There should be an upside to the downslide, so to speak.
result? Aging bodies want to hang onto any extra body weight( even if we no longer need— or want— them to).
Well, great! Old and fat are apparently two peas in a pod. If that’ s the case, then it’ s only fair that everything should work this way. For example, if you’ re 60 or older, you should get to eat 20 % more sweets than everybody else and not gain any weight. If you’ re 60 or older and still working, you should get a 20 % raise and only have to work four days a week. You see where I’ m going with this. There should be an upside to the downslide, so to speak. Oh, there’ s one more. If you’ re 60 or older, your brain should see yourself as a sex symbol in a bathing suit rather than an extra-large sausage link in a colorful wrapper. There, I’ m done.
I know I’ m being a bit salty, but come on. Why should everything about getting older seem like a punishment rather than a reward? I guess I should really look at the positives, if I can find any. … Okay, it took me a minute, but here’ s what I came up with. Being older does offer numerous advantages, including increased wisdom, emotional stability, deeper relationships, and a greater sense of self-acceptance. In summary, while aging comes with its challenges, like more difficulty losing weight, it also offers a multitude of benefits that enhance our quality of life, emotional well-being, and personal fulfillment. Embracing these advantages can lead to a richer, more satisfying life experience. As good as that sounds, though, I’ d still prefer six-pack abs with my personal fulfillment, thank you.
All that said, the next time you see me, please lie and tell me I’ m looking great. I promise the same in return when you reach your golden years.
30 | NW GEORGIA LIVING JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2026