d ROBERT ’ S WORLD
Hey , Who Flipped That Switch ?
BY ROBERT SMYTH
The seemingly instant transformation that happens when you turn the big 6-0 .
So , this year I got the privilege of turning 60 , and , boy , was it a change ! You know , certain ages should come with some kind of instruction manual and warnings . It ’ s been weird , all the things I was doing at 59 are now harder and make me way more tired than I ever have been . I ’ m sleeping more , I ’ m moving slower , the weights at the gym are unbelievably heavy , and my patience level is thin to none . Okay , to be honest , my patience level has been low since I was 40 , but the rest of the stuff is new .
Turning 60 has also made me very reflective , and I don ’ t like that either . It just seems like my cool factor disappeared overnight ( if I ever had one ), and I find myself reminiscing about my days as a morning radio host and all the adventures I ’ ve experienced in my life . It also makes me use words like “ reminiscing ,” and that ’ s so not me at all .
I look in the mirror these days and think , “ Hey , you don ’ t look that old . You ’ re still somewhat handsome and virile .” Then I see a picture of myself and wonder who that old goat is in the same clothes I was wearing .
My wife and I went to a swanky party recently and my wife said we didn ’ t have to get there until around 7:30 , and all I could think was how that was late to eat dinner and start a party . We had a great time at the party , but the entire night I was looking for places to sit down . We danced a bit , had wonderful friends with us , ate some good food , and overall , had a fun night . We headed home around midnight and once we got home , poof , it was like someone turned on a magic switch and as soon as I got near the bed , I could hardly find the strength to get on my jammies . That ’ s me , a party animal … as long as the party doesn ’ t go past 9:30 !
According to the Chicago Tribune , 88 % of the people born in 1964 , the year I was born , are still
30 | NW GEORGIA LIVING JANUARY / FEBRUARY 2025
“ That ’ s me , a party animal … as long as the party doesn ’ t go past 9:30 !”
alive . Of course , they didn ’ t say that they felt great and woke up everyday ready to take on the world , just that they were alive . So here are some things I try to do to keep myself feeling young :
First , I am married to a women 11 years younger than me . In reality , we act the same age , and she still has days she thinks she ’ s married to a toddler . Also , I still drive like a crazy person . If you ’ re going slowly in front of me , there will probably be words . Not from impatience , mind you , but because I have to pee and you ’ re in the way . That ’ s been a tough one . If the wind blows funny , I have to pee , and I ’ m usually miles away from a bathroom . I also try to keep up with technology , but honestly , it scares me to death . I just know we ’ re days away from The Terminator or I , Robot and I should be preparing for the fight for survival , but I ’ m too tired , and if I can get a robot to rake the yard before it tries to take over the world , I ’ m okay with it . I try to keep up with music , too , so I can be cool and in the know . The big problem is that I only hear 15 seconds of a song on TikTok over and over again , which seems to please my 14-year-old but makes me want to run over the phone with my car over and over again .
The funniest part about all of this is that I complain to my parents about it all and they just laugh , give my child money and anything with high fructose sugar in it , and send her home . What ’ s the answer ? I guess I should just be thankful I woke up this morning on this side of the grass , that I have a family that loves and puts up with me , and that I have my health for the most part . And now , no big surprise , nature is calling and I ’ m at least 100 yards away from the facilities . It ’ s going to be a fun day !