Amanda moved to a residential treatment center for pregnant women on methadone and one of the other residents told her about Nurse-Family Partnership. “She told me that when she was pregnant, she had this nurse, and that she was amazing,” Amanda said.
She was eight weeks pregnant, sick and scared, and knew she needed help, so when she contacted the Targeted Citywide Initiative site of New York City Nurse-Family Partnership and met nurse Abby, it was like the world had magically produced a lifeboat in the midst of a raging typhoon.
“When I sat with her for the first time, the feeling she gave me was of being supported. It was a huge relief. She didn’t judge me. She gave me the feeling that things were going to be OK.”
Amanda’s mother had died when she was 13, so she has very few memories of being nurtured by a mother.
“She was there to answer all my little questions and calm my anxieties,” Amanda said.
Nurse Abby told her what to expect through pregnancy and childbirth and, step-by-step, taught her how to breastfeed, change a diaper and care for her son.
Ezra was born with Neonatal Abstinence Syndrome, a form of withdrawal from the methadone Amanda took throughout her pregnancy. He was in the neonatal intensive care unit for five weeks.
“It was really hard for me to see him suffering because I kept thinking, ‘This is my fault,’” Amanda said.
“I never used throughout my pregnancy, thank God,” she said. But after Ezra was born, she was determined to get off the methadone that had helped her deal with her addiction.
“It was hard to go home without him. I felt really bad,” she said, but Abby came with her to the NICU and sat with her, helped her work with the neonatal nurses and helped her cope with the emotional trauma of seeing her baby being treated for withdrawal.
“Then I took him back to the center with me and right away I knew things were going to be OK. I had a very, very good feeling about it. It was the best thing that ever happened to me.”
Amanda started detoxing right after Ezra was born. It wasn’t easy, but she was highly motivated. “I had this bigger picture about why I was doing this. I had a purpose. It kept me going.”
Soon after he was born she also learned that she carries the breast cancer gene. Her grandmother is a breast cancer survivor and her mother died of ovarian cancer. So, when Ezra was not yet a year old, she underwent a double mastectomy.
“I wasn’t allowed to pick him up for six weeks,” she said. “It was a hard, painful recovery, but I had my nurse around to help and guide me.”
“She helped me keep the picture in my head. ‘You’re doing this because you’re a good mom.’”
Amanda and Ezra stayed in the center for his first year and then she began searching for her own place and a job to support them.
“I had to turn down a lot of jobs because of child care,” she said. (cont.)
When I sat with ABBY for the first time, the feeling she gave me was of being supported. It was a huge relief. She didn’t judge me. She gave me the feeling that things were going to be OK.
Amanda, NFP graduate and national outreach coordinator