VOW to be HAPPY
L
adies, in the world we live in there are
so many distractions. Social media, reality
television, “get rich quick” schemes and
everything in between. These factors cause
us to lose sight of the bigger picture (love,
marriage, family, and legacy). We love, we have
children, but as of late, marriage is either put on
the back burner or held as an ideology not practicality. Being the nurturing supportive beings that we are,
we sometimes push the men in our lives to live up to
their potential including helping them realize that they
“want” to be married. In other words, we do what we
must do to speed up the chronological timeline. We
use our biological clock or power couple ambitions as
bait. We can’t forget about the pregnancy scares or the
“marry me or else” tactics. We’ve all heard it or said
“You have a year to marry me or I’m leaving.” Often
enough, our gentle pushes work, but how does affect
the health of our relationships?
Since the 1970’s, we’ve been told time and time again
that the divorce rate in America is around 40-50%.
While the accuracy of this measurement has been
disputed, what is commonly shared is that the divorce
rate of American Americans is significantly higher
than both Hispanic and Caucasian families. According to Divorce360.com, “70 percent of black women’s
first marriages will end in divorce, as will 47 percent
of white women’s marriages.” The Demographic
Research Institute published that 32 percent of
African-American couples divorce as compared with
22 percent of Hispanics and 21 percent white couples.
assets are being bought, enhanced, and
perfected. At an age when women are
formulating family goals, men are on a
paper chase and women conquest.
Talk to an unmarried man in his late
twenties or early thirties and ask why they
are not married. Even with long-term (5-10
year) girlfriends, men will often say “I’m just not
ready.” What we should not do is force, pressure or
coerce. If a man says he’s not ready, chances are he’s
not ready or is just not that into you. Either way, it
can be a loose-loose situation. If a man feels he is not
up to the challenge, he will not commit mentally yet
alone physically. Cheating comes in many forms and
having a female, go-to for everything, best friend in
many cases is a sign of immaturity.
Now ladies, we are guilty of this ourselves. In a relationship your partner comes first. It is not a women’s
job to force a man to value her and do well by her.
Those are fundamental principals that are given to
young men in their upbringing and reinforced by the
community as the man becomes of age. So what are
we to do?
First, love our selves. Sometime we get so caught up
on needing love we put ourselves in compromising,
toxic, or less than desired situations. Second, let love
come to you. This doesn’t mean take the first train
smoking. Don’t settle for anyone. Have standards
and goals, but be sensible. Next, be upfront and
open about what you want. Let it be known from the
beginning of a relationship what you’re looking for
and what you are willing to wait for. Transparency is
On the other hand, some believe the divorce rate is
always best. It’s hard to repair a relationship after you
declining, yet African Americans are getting married
have turned a blind eye to undesired behaviors for
later and later. Men don’t see the value of professing
years. Lastly, vow to be happy. Don’t make having a
love with such a permanent gesture, and for good
relationship be what stimulates you. Focus on your
reason. Entertainment is becoming reality and reality
entertainment. The world we live in is over sexualized career and immerse yourself in activities that you love
and there are “goodies” to be seen everywhere. Those to do. Cultivate your mind and explore the world.
Take time to be the best version of you.
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Fall/Winter 2016 | NURAMagazine.com