Nu Vibez and Roleplay Guide Magazine - October 2014 | Page 66

of relationships and the most tortured of them and through this portrayal gave us insight into some of the reasons why women stay in the relationships they are in. The place of women, children, financial support, family loyalties, expectations and social acceptability are just some traditional reasons why women stay. Most of these reasons are still current. It is important to remember that the worst of unhappy relationships are dysfunctional due to abuse. The abuse may be mainly physical, or mainly psychological or a combination of both. Both kinds of abuse can cause death of the victim. Physical abuse, (actual hitting, beating, tying up, threatening with weapons and so on) is clearly potentially fatal as it continues and escalates. Psychological abuse, (threats, shouting, name-calling, restrictions on behaviour, humiliation, and so on) is less obviously directly fatal until one includes the mental mood state of depression that will accompany both physical and psychological abuse. In fact in psychological abuse the depression and hopelessness might be even more acutely self-directed because there is no way of avoiding the damage once the abusive value system and attitudes have intruded themselves into the victim’s head. Whether physical or psychological abuse is present, the abuser may use various 66 October 2014 - NuVibez Magazine techniques to ensure the victim stays. One of these is apologising after the abuse. Another is victim blaming. When the abuser appears to genuinely feel remorse for their behaviour with assurances they will not do it again, the victim, who still loves them, and may be further bound to them by children or finances, will be inclined to give them another chance, [