Nu Vibez and Roleplay Guide Magazine - October 2014 | Page 30

by what they see on their screen. Gorgeous is
gorgeous, that’s not hard to figure out. It takes
several steps of hard thinking to do a reality
check and wonder about the person behind the
avatar.
Some, very few SL users, put a RL picture on
their profiles. Even when a picture is there, many
are not actually of the user themselves. Many
images are of famous people or just ordinary
folks who probably have no idea their image
is now on display as being the “real” person

behind an avatar in SL. I know this from personal
experience with SL users I am familiar with. They
are nothing like the RL image they display on
their avatar’s “1st life” section, they are often not
even the same sex!
The attempt to verify just who this person is
that you have taken a shine to can be devilishly
difficult. Not only are many SL users shy of
revealing their real selves because let’s face it,
SL may be their fantasy escape from grisly reality
and they do not wish to mix the two, but also
because they may have already experienced
their own relationship disappointments and
drama and are reluctant to risk being involved in
another roller coaster romance.
Using voice to verify the person is at least the
sex they say they are can be a great help. It is
not foolproof of course, but the trouble to fake
voice verification would probably mean it is likely
30 October 2014 - NuVibez Magazine

to be fairly reliable. To do more than this requires
a move out of SL. Using live cam to verify the
physical person is really the only way to figure
out just what they look like and a bit about how
they behave. This step is vital if you are open to
the idea of developing a serious relationship with
anyone online, especially if a physical meeting is
difficult to arrange due to distance.
But no amount of voice or vision will guarantee
you real knowledge of the other person’s life
circumstances. People who wish to deceive are
likely to ensure you only ever talk
to them or see them when it is
most convenient to hide what it is
they wish to hide. It may be that
they only ever voice or cam with
you when it is very late (so their
real life partner and the kids are
in bed). Or they only ever let you
see or hear them when they are
at a specific location, like a hotel
or library (so you don’t hear or
see their real world).
Then there is the capacity
that people have to carry off a
particular persona over a long
period of time. Honest folks tend
to reveal their ups and downs and likes and
dislikes without fear or favour, they know it is just
the way things are, it is normal to have a bad
day now and then, they accept difference and
they allow you to have your mood variations and
opinions without judgement.
Red flags should wave vigorously if your love
interest started out as all charming and eager
then once you are hooked they cool off rather
suddenly. This is not good news, but very
common and one of the hardest things to cope
with for those genuinely seeking true love.
Online, and SL is not the fountain of love any
more than real life. Good relationships are based
on the same aspects as they are in RL, shared
values, similar interests, respect, compassion
and openness are no less needed online than in
RL. It seems ironic, but even in SL you have to
keep it real, if you want to have real love.