Facing Domestic Violence
Does this shock you?
In 2012, the Maine Domestic
Violence Resource Centers had
132,105 client contacts.
October was Domestic Violence
Awareness Month. To raise your
awareness of the complexities for a
victim, I simply ask that you read
over the example safety plan below
and imagine if you had to worry
about all these things - for years or
even decades - living in constant
fear.
Step 1. Safety during a violent
episode
a.If I decide to leave, I will go to
______________.
b.I can keep a bag ready and put it
________________ so I can leave
quickly.
c.The bag should have these things
in it: ________________________
____________________________
d.I can tell _______________
_________________________
about the violence and have him
or her call the police when violence
erupts.
e.I can teach my children to call
9-1-1.
f.I will use the code word _______
____________________________
_____ to alert my children, friends,
and family to call for help.
g.When an argument erupts, I
will move to a safer room such as
__________________
____________.
h.I can teach these strategies to
my children: __________________
___________________________.
i.I will use my instincts, intuition,
and judgment. I will protect myself
and my children until we are out of
danger.
Step 2. Safety when getting
ready to leave a.I’ll leave money,
important documents, and an extra
set of keys with _______________
_________________________.
b.I’ll open a savings account
in my own name by this date
__________________________.
c.Other things I can do to increase
my independence are ___________
___________________________.
d.I’ll memorize the domestic
violence helpline _______________
_________________________.
e.I’ll memorize the number I need
to use to request emergency shelter
___________________________.
f.I’ll use a prepaid cell phone, a
friend’s phone, a prepaid phone
card and someone else’s phone
(relative, work, or school), or I’ll
call collect, so my batterer can’t
trace my calls from the cell phone
bill.
g.I’ll make sure I can leave
extra clothes at the safety
home I can go to, the home of
____________________________
or ____________________.
h.I can borrow money from
___________________.
i.I’ll review my safety plan every
__________ days/weeks.
j.I’ll use this route to get out of
my house or apartment and to my
safety house: ________________
____________________________
__.
k.I’ll review this plan with _____
___________________________
________ (a friend, counselor, or
advocate).
l.I’ll rehearse my escape plan and
practice it with my children.
Step 3. Safety at home (if you no
longer live with your partner) As
soon as possible, I will...
a.Change the locks on my doors
and windows.
b.Replace wooden doors with steel
doors.
c.Have security systems installed:
additional locks, window bars, poles
to wedge against doors, electronic
sensors.
d.Purchase rope ladders, so we can
escape from the second floor.
e.Install smoke detectors and buy
fire extinguishers for each floor of
my home.
f.Have an outside lighting system
installed that lights up when
someone approaches my home.
g.Teach my children how to use
the phone to make collect calls to
me and to ___________________
_____________________ (friend,
family, minister) if my partner tries
to take them.
h.Tell the people who care for my
children or who have permission to
pick up my children that my partner
is NOT allowed to. I will inform
these people:
School
__________________________
Day Care
__________________________
Babysitter
__________________________
Sunday School ________________
________________________
Teacher __________
_____________________
And _________________________
_______________
Others ______________________
__________________
i.Tell these people that my partner
no longer lives with me and that
they should call the police if they
see my partner near my residence:
Neighbors ____________________
____________________
Church Leaders _______________
_________________________
Friends ______________________
__________________
Others ______________________
__________________
Step 4. Drug and alcohol use. I can
stay safer around drugs and alcohol
if:
a.I use them in a safe place with
people who understand the risk of
violence and who are committed to
my safety.
b.I ______________________
__________________ when my
partner is using.
c.I _______________________
_________________ in order to
protect my children.
Step 5. Safety and my emotional
health. If or when...
a. I feel depressed and ready
to return to a potentially violent
situation/partner, I can _________
____________________________
___, and I can call _____________
___________________________.
b.I have to talk to my partner in
person or on the phone, I can ____
____________________________
________.
c.I need to be assertive, I will use
“I can” statements.
d. I feel people are trying to
control or abuse me, I can tell
myself “ _____________________
___________________”.
e.I need support, I can call the
following people: ______________
__________________________.
f.I need to feel stronger, I can ___
And these days victims also have to
consider ever evolving technology
concerns - devices that track
their car’s location and/or record
conversations from inside the car,
programs that hack and remotely
report their phone and computer
activity, including texts and email.
Some programs can even be set
up so every time a victim receives
or makes a cell phone call the
abuser’s phone rings to listen in.
Even looking up domestic violence
resources and contact numbers can
be dangerous for some victims.
MAINE COALITION TO END
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE: http://
mcedv.org/
24-hour Hotlines
From Area code (207) call 1-866834-HELP National hotline: 1-800799-7233 Use 911 for emergency
situations
CPT Jasmine A. Cain
Maine National Guard
Sexual Assault Response
Coordinator
Suicide Prevention Program
Manager
Domestic Abuse Program Manager
Office: (207) 430-5824
BlackBerry: (207) 620-6335
Cell: (207) 944-4017
24hr DoD Safe Helpline: 877-9955247