Ask Greta
Dear Greta ,
Our 18 year old daughter recently met a 28 year old trainer at the gym . At first , I thought it was friendship , but we recently discovered it ' s more . My husband and I told her that the relationship is unacceptable . He is too old . He ' s divorced with a five year old boy . Our daughter is torn because she knows that we ' re upset about this . She says that she ' s not truly happy because we won ' t allow her to be , due to the fact that we will not accept this . But she continues to see him . My husband refuses to get to know him . I have met him and he seems like a very nice person . I believe he really cares for her . Still , I cannot deal with this . She has only dated one other boy in high school and I thought she would take her time as she started college next year . I see so many problems with this situation and have expressed them to her , but again , she doesn ' t understand . What should I do ?
- Worried Mom
Dear Worried ,
I think you have an 18 year old adult in your life who is trying to assert her independence . She is leaving for college in a few months . I think that the relationship and communication you both have now will be beneficial to maintain . She is striking out on her own and you do not have to agree with her choices , buy you do need to respect that they are her choices to make . The relationship with this guy may fizzle out on its own once your daughter is away at college , given the distance , pressures , and exposure to new experiences she will undergo . Be patient and see how things play out . If you don ' t alienate her with your disapproval , she ' s more likely to respect your opinions and possibly seek guidance if she needs it .
Mail your questions to Greta at : “ Good News ” P . O . Box 99 , Avis PA 17721 , or email them to : goodnews @ kcnet . org .
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