By age 2 or 3, children can talk about being thankful for specific objects, pets, and people. If
they are not completely verbal, a toddler of this stage of development can point to who they are
thankful for as a family engages in this practice together. By age 4, children can understand being
thankful not only for material things like toys but for acts of kindness, love, and caring.
How to Teach It
Children model their parents in every way, so make sure you use “please” and “thank you” when
you talk to them. (“Thanks for that hug -- it made me feel great!”) Insist on their using the words,
too. After all, good manners and gratitude overlap.
Work gratitude into your daily conversation.
Try weaving appreciation for mundane things into our everyday talk. (“We’re so lucky to have a
good cat like Sam!” “Aren’t the colors in the sunset amazing?” “I’m so happy when you listen!”)
When you reinforce an idea frequently, it’s more likely to stick. One way to turn up the gratitude
in your house is to pick a “thanking” part of the day. Two old-fashioned, tried-and-true ideas:
Make saying what good things happened today part of the dinnertime conversation or make
bedtime prayers part of your nightly routine.
Have kids help.
It happens to all of us: You give your child a chore, but it’s too agonizing watching him a) take
forever to clear the table or b) make a huge mess mixing the pancake batter. The temptation is
always to step in and do it yourself. But the more you do for them, the less they appreciate your
efforts. (Don’t you feel more empathy for people who work outside on cold days when you’ve just
been out shoveling snow yourself?) By participating in simple household chores like feeding the
dog or stacking dirty dishes on the counter, kids realize that all these things take effort.
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