NOVEMBER 2013 Gay News Entertainement & More | Page 7

The Holidays are a difficult time for many of us gays. We are often in uncomfortable situations with our families. Many of us aren’t out yet and for those of us that are we don’t know how to answer the twenty one questions we are going to be asked by our families. We complied of guide of 8 Rules one must follow for this 2014 Thanksgiving Dinner. Show Up. Although avoiding Tia Ofelia (the obnoxious aunt) is tempting, just suck it up and don’t miss Thanksgiving dinner. Trust me there is always a corner you can get away from all the noise if it is too much. Bring something to the dinner. We, as gays, usually drink quite a bit so bring a nice bottle of wine or two (three or more if you are on a mission). If your family doesn’t drink then bring liquor in a flask and pull away in the garage. Don’t bring your new boyfriend. At a 90% failure rate bringing that newly discovered love might not be worth the stares and questions. Un you have more than two months, (the equivalent of 1 straight year) make up a lie and don’t include them in your plans. No Big Announcements. If you haven’t came out yet, now, is not the time. Save that drama for another day. But if you absolutely insist, may I suggest, “Mom, Dad, I don’t know how to say this but last night I got stuffed like this turkey and I think it is time you knew, pass the gravy please” Keep it casual, keep it festive. Eat! You better eat. Don’t pull any of the following: “I am a vegetarian,” I don’t eat this.” or “I don’t like turkey.” Eat the FUCKEN bird and enjoy it. Don’t try to butch it up. If you have more in common with Tinkerbelle than with Paul Bunion, then extend those wings and fag out. Don’t try to drink with the boys out back if you are going to bore them and vice versa. Go inside and show the ladies a thing or two. Forget the past. We all have reasons to be upset with family members. Being gay, we have books that keep this logged in chronological order. But for once, just put the book log down and just forget that Uncle Eddie peed on your tire. This is not the time to bring that up. Leave early . Thanksgiving Dinner is much more than just eating. Wine is usually plentiful and excess is just in our nature. Leave before the sauce kicks in and you start letting out your emotions. Either way you know the real party is at ALIVE or EPIC or CHIQUITAS or any other gay bar. .