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A NIGHT
WRITTEN BY ANONYMOUS CAPE TOWN
I WILL NEVER FORGET
T
here are first times for
everything. The first time I
drove a car, first time I broke
my leg, first time I ate sushi, first
time I went to work, first time I was
fired nd I’ll never forget my first
—a
kiss. ‘Firsts’ are memorable parts of
life and growing up.
Well, the same goes for that first
night spent on the streets or in a
homeless shelter. The first time you’re
homeless, the intense feelings of fear
and uncertainty are impossible to
forget.
If you’ve never been homeless,
it’s tough to describe that first night
sleeping on the street. The fear and
disillusionment are almost paralyzing.
You just go through the motions,
but at the same time you’re beating
yourself up for being in this situation.
It is very surreal because no one ever
thinks they will become homeless.
No one.
I’ll never forget my first night. All
of a sudden and without warning, I
found myself homeless in Sea point
near Cape Town city centre. I was
sober, but I had no money, no place
to go and no one I could call for
help. I was officially homeless.
This was all new to me. I had no
homeless training. I had no clue how
I was going to survive. Just six months
earlier I had a well-paying job in the
advertising industry. But now, I was
the one who had suddenly landed on
bankrupt. The irony was painful.
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I decided to walk from Sea Point
to Camps bay, mainly because I
knew the neighbourhood and was
comfortable with the area. I started
walking, and after about 3 km it was
beginning to get dark, so I started
to think about where I was going to
sleep. I decided to try a park close
to my old house where I used to play
my drum on hot summer days. But
when I arrived, I noticed a group of
“YOU JUST GO
THROUGH THE
MOTIONS, BUT
AT THE SAME
TIME YOU’RE
BEATING
YOURSELF UP
FOR BEING
IN THIS
SITUATION”
no-good guys hanging around in the
dark, so I decide to walk to another
location.
I continued walking from one park
to another. I just didn’t feel safe in
any of them. My feet were becoming
swollen; I was emotionally and
physically exhausted. I knew that the
worst crimes in the city uggings,
—m
beatings, assaults — h appened at
night to people living outdoors. I
knew that when you sleep outside,
you are vulnerable to just about
everything. I was scared. Probably
more scared then I have been or ever
will be.
I think it was around 3 a.m. when
I finally found a park near a small
corner café in Gardens. It was
empty, and the first place where I felt
safe enough to lay down. Exhaustion
quickly set in and I closed my eyes. I
don’t remember how much time had
passed — m aybe 20 minutes — w hen,
suddenly, all the water sprinklers
went off. I just laid there in
disbelief, soaking. It’s impossible to
describe the mixture of fear, anger,
vulnerability and, well, homelessness
I felt as I lay there.
Today, it’s easier for me to laugh
at that bit of misfortune with the
sprinklers. But the deep memories of
pain and loneliness from that night
will always be with me.
Sadly, thousands of people
experience their first homeless
night each year. No matter
what circumstances led to their
homelessness — e viction, foreclosure,
unemployment, addiction, mental
illness, domestic violence — b eing
homeless for that first night is painful.
Now imagine a personal crisis has
hit, and you no longer have access
to money or a place to stay. It is
now your first night homeless. What
would you do?
EASTER ISSUE 2015 / NORTHERN HILLS / PAGE 25