ABUSE MAGAZINE
6. It only takes once. One of the most common myths among teens is that pregnancy can’ t happen the first time you have sex. Actually, it can, and it does. Even if you’ re both virgins. When teens become sexually active, the sex is almost always unplanned and sporadic; communication between partners is often poor; and denial and guilt may stand in the way of getting and using protection. Whether you’ re having sex for the first time or the 50th time, if you’ re not using contraception, there is a chance of pregnancy. If that sounds like a risk you don’ t want to take, you can always decide you’ re just not ready for sex.
“ Things were moving so fast. We didn’ t stop to think about protection. I wish I’ d taken five
minutes to buy a condom— instead I’ ll be working to support my son for the
rest of my life.”
- Guy, 16
7. If you’ re drunk or high, you can’ t make good decisions about anything— especially sex. Drinking alcohol and using drugs makes teens more likely to have unplanned or even unwanted sex. Having sex while drunk or high means you are much less likely to use protection. Even if you had meant to wait or use protection, those plans go out the window fast if you’ re not thinking straight. Lots of teens say they’ ve done something sexually when using drugs or alcohol that they might not have done if they’ d been sober. If you’ re going to a party with your friends, agree ahead of time to look out for each other. Step in if you see someone you care about losing control— before they do something they might not remember or might really regret.
8. Sexting isn’ t harmless. Before you hit“ send,” remember that nothing in cyberspace ever really goes away. One in five teen girls ages 13-16 has sent( or posted online) nude or semi-nude images of themselves. Think that sexy photo is just between you and your guy? Think again: one-third of teen boys and one-quarter of teen girls have had nude or seminude photos— originally meant to be private— shared with them. Those photos are not only embarrassing, they’ re potentially dangerous: one-third of teens think that those who send sexy texts and images of themselves are expected to hook up in real life, and 15 % of those who admit to sexting have done so with someone they know only online. Not to mention that having naked photos of a minor could land you in jail— even if it’ s a photo of someone you know and love. The safest sext is no sext.
9. Girls: Sex won’ t make him yours, and a baby won’ t make him stay. One of the worst reasons to have sex is because you think your boyfriend will dump you if
you don’ t. Sex and pregnancy don’ t guarantee a lasting, loving relationship— in fact, three-quarters of guys say that sex won’ t make them stay in a relationship they don’ t want to be in. Babies don’ t keep a relationship glued together— they are more likely to tear them apart: 8 out of 10 of teen fathers don’ t marry their babies’ mothers, and most guys don’ t stick around at all.
“ I told my boyfriend,‘ We have a son.’ He said,‘ No, we don’ t. YOU have a son.’”
- Girl, 15
10. Guys: You can say“ no,” too. Girls aren’ t the only ones who feel pressure to have sex. Nearly 8 in 10 teen guys say there is way too much pressure on them to have sex— from friends, from girls, and from society— and 1 in 5 teen guys admits to going farther sexually than they really wanted to because of pressure from a girl. You don’ t have to have sex to prove anything. Having sex doesn’ t make you a man: waiting until you’ re ready and acting responsibly does.
11. Older teens: Younger teens are listening to you. Talk with your little sister or brother or younger cousin— let them know they can ask you anything. Kids who have positive, close relationships with older siblings are less like to take risks with sex. They look up to you, and you don’ t carry as much baggage as a parent or another grownup. You can make a big difference. In fact, the younger teens are when they first have sex, the more they wind up regretting it. Let younger teens know that they should take their time and not feel pressure to grow up too fast. They’ re listening to you.
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abusemagazine. org | North Dakota Spring / Summer 2014 | 21