Nocturnal Issue V | Page 18

"KANYE WEST'S ALBUMS APPEAR TO BE A NIETZSCHEAN JOURNEY"

You will never know the fear of another body above yours –bigger, heavier. Of another person above your person –bigger, heavier, with the weight of society behind them. The momentum of a lifetime of entitlement pushing them down on you until you can’t breathe. In. Or. Out.

I have been chewing the inside of my mouth for days now. Words unformed and endlessly sharp with energy carelessly cutting away at my throat, stomach, skull and tongue. But I am choosing to remain soft. Refusing to grow another layer of scar tissue. We cannot move forwards if we refuse to feel. This hurt will stop with me. So instead I will write this even though it will never contain all those words that I never learned the language for. Maybe I will send it to you. In spite of its insufficiency. Because I know that even with all the tongues in the world I could not express this adequately. I will never be able to give you my experience skewered on a knife for you to take into yourself wholly.

Maybe I will send this to you. But if I do, I do not want you to reply. Because you will never understand.

I DO NOT WANT YOU TO REPLY TO THIS — AILSA FINERON

Photography by EMMA BLAKE MORSI

Modelled by JASMIN NOWAK FEARON