The Partner in this Whole Ordeal
When I was going through severe clinical depression, the one person who kept me alive was my husband. He was with me through it all. And throughout the years, many have found his story helpful too. So, here, I share his thoughts and reflections again, on how he coped with me, when everyday he had to live with the concern of whether I will harm myself, and how to bring my spirits up.
Did you know she was depressed at the beginning? How did you react at that time? How did you feel?
At the beginning I knew something was wrong, but just thought it was stress or culture shock. At the time I just wanted to find a solution and was happy for Enoch to stop going to work. I felt frustrated because I could not make her better, and any logic I tried to use when speaking with her seemed to fall on deaf ears.
What was your reaction when Enoch diagnosed with depression?
I think I was relieved, because once diagnosed I felt we could start to treat the illness properly. I did not have any problems with her having depression, for me it was just a sickness like having the flu.
What was the effect on your daily life?
The effect on my daily life was the biggest impact, and was a challenge to deal with. Enoch would burst into tears and have severe mood swings, which I did not know how to deal with. I tried to say the right things, but it hardly ever helped. Then I would get frustrated and sometimes lose my temper and become angry. I’m a positive person and the worst part of all for me was that she would bring my mood down. I would get up and be excited about the day, but she just wanted to die, this was very hard for me to reconcile.
The migraines and associated physical illnesses also made it difficult for me. Sometimes I would have to leave work or a party and rush home to take care of her. One time I came home and found her semi conscious on the floor. I didn’t know if she had fallen or hit her head or what happened, so I had to carry her to a taxi and go to the hospital.
The other hardest thing for me to do was to put her needs first. So even if I was at an amazing party having the time of my life, if Enoch called and needed me I had to leave immediately without even saying goodbye to my friends. This took a bit of time to get used to without feeling resentful, but once accustomed to it I felt a sense of responsibility Id never felt before and it helped me grow up