PEER LIAISON UPDATE
‘ Peer’-ing into darkness
MIKE PELLEGRINO
62 NEW JERSEY COPS ■ JULY 2016
Make this a page you don’ t skim. Tear it out, in fact. Make copies and hang them in the break room and in your locker. It might save your brother or sister’ s life. Even though you’ ve heard and read the message before – at the 2016 State PBA Mini-Convention … in the cover story of the April issue of NJ Cops Magazine … at each Out of Darkness Walk …
Even though the message is tough to hear, isn’ t hearing about the latest PBA member suicide – two, in fact, this month alone – even worse?
So here’ s the message again. And the State PBA Peer Liaison Committee will continue to share it again and again.
We have so much to live for, and there are so many resources to get us the help we need. Apparently, officers aren’ t reaching for the phone, so they reach for other things – alcohol, drugs – because that takes away the problems in the short-term, but they come down from that and the d problem hasn’ t gone away.
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Then finally, in their mind, there is no other option.
But there are options.
We can provide the resources but people have to want the help for it to be effective.
The stigma is gone. We’ ve identified it and we see members are getting the help they need. It’ s just not everybody who’ s getting the help they need. Eight out of 10 people can put their issues into perspective; the rest is the percentage we’ re trying to reach, because even one more is one more too many.
We attempt to reach people at meetings, but I see it myself – members will walk out of the room because they think it’ s a good time for a bathroom break. I get it. It’ s just the way it is. Honestly, until you need us, you don’ t think about us.
Are you a State Delegate and don’ t know what to do when you see a sister or brother in need of help or reaching out for help? Call me at 609-352-3398, any time. Maybe because there’ s such a big turnover – we’ re swearing in 20 new Delegates each meeting – there’ s still lots of work to be done. And repetition is key.
We’ re trying to have classes in towns across the state so members don’ t have to come to the PBA office for peer assistance training with our clinical services team of Dr. Eugene Stefanelli, Dr. Michael Bizzarro and Cherie Castellano from Cop 2 Cop. I tried to put this info out but I only got two responses.
Get your Locals together. Get your County Conferences together. Then reach out to me. I want to have trainings in the south; in the west; everywhere. I want a couple where we bring together people from different areas. This has to be dealt with head-on and training is essential.
As law enforcement officers, we know what to look for – we can tell if someone is goofed out on heroin – but it’ s hard to root out mental illness. We can’ t jump inside someone’ s head, but from a brother’ s keeper perspective, members need to understand that even one little thing at work or in their personal lives can put someone in a bad place.
It’ s important to talk to your partner in your patrol car. Find out what his or her likes are all about. Look to help them or take their minds off their problems by doing something fun with them. As stupid as that might sound, you have to reach out to that person. And let them know you’ re going to follow up on a regular basis.
You have to follow up; you have to be a friend. You can’ t be too sensitive or too vigilant.
That’ s what’ s going to help. d