NJ Cops | Page 40

“Pop, pop, pop,” he described. “The first shot hit my shield and the velocity turned me to my side. When I turned, the second shot hit me under my vest in the stomach. I immediately saw blood dripping. It hurt so badly. I had never been shot before. I was bent over in excruciating pain.” The irony of the wounding is how the victims remember the details. Here was Murray, in the worst pain of his life being transported to the hospital in a patrol car because waiting for the ambulance might have been a minute to two too long, and he notices the neighborhood. “Went by my old elementary school and the church where I got married,” he recalled. “Then, there was the block where I grew up. We passed everything that meant something.” To call it gut-wrenching would be unfair irony to Murray. But he does want to relate the emotion, the bitter-sweetness that accompanies the LODW. And for this LODW officer, that feeling piqued when he was in the midst of a two-and-a-half hour surgery on his stomach. He remembers so many officers lining the halls of the hospital that he couldn’t see the doctors or nurses. And then… “When I was under, I remember seeing a very bright light with a figure,” he confided. “It was a shadowy figure. Whatever that was, I don’t know. When I woke up, I looked like I had had a baby; my stomach was that swollen.” Did Murray have a near-death experience? He did lose four pints of blood. He did stop breathing and had to be resuscitated. The post-traumatic effects included his stomach hurting so much he couldn’t eat. He couldn’t sleep through the night, and when he did sleep, he suffered serious night sweats. He would hear a door slam, a car muffler backfire or a balloon pop, and he jumped. 40 NEW JERSEY COPS ■ APRIL 2015 The smell of gun smoke lingered in his nostrils. This went on for two years. The calming influences came from his family and Cop2Cop. Castellano, who wears the distinction “Cop’s wife” more proudly than any of her esteemed titles, started reaching out to Murray, along with Cop2Cop counselor Fred Mitchell, who endured a serious injury during his 25 years on the job in Newark. They called Murray weekly and brought him to a weekly group with other wounded officers that Cop2Cop ran for 10 years until recently. “Even now, my phone rings on a weekly basis, and it’s Cherie checking in on me,” Murray added. “If it wasn’t for Cop2Cop, I never would have been able to get back on the job. In the support groups, I was able to talk about things that I would never, ever share with anybody. I did think about how my life was almost taken. But the therapy and my faith helped me realize it wasn’t my time yet.” Murray shared that he learned to live for the little things, like having dinner with his family, going for a Sunday drive and playing a little basketball. He made it back to work within two years, and made it to 25 years and retirement. So this story has a happy ending. And if the power of the PBA combined with the magic of Cop2Cop can have an impact, there will be more happy endings to the LODW stories. For the wounds can be healed. d