NJ Cops | Page 56

Contagious compassion It’s Oct. 5 at 9 a.m. on a gloomy Sunday morning, and I found myself at the “Out of the Darkness” suicide prevention walk. It’s part of my 15-year habit as a team member at Cop 2 Cop. Every year I crank my radio blaring songs of inspiration and faith as I make the drive to New Brunswick to walk beside my Cop 2 Cop colleagues and friends to CHERIE remember the law enforcement officers who died by CASTELLANO suicide, and who are memorialized in this walk. COP 2 COP Our Cop 2 Cop memorial banner, a little wrinkled and tattered, is full of patches that represent those lost, and the staff and volunteers are honored to share information on suicide prevention. They retell the stories of their partners and friends who they will remember as they walk. My walk has always been for all of the officers lost and for their families, especially their wives. As an officer’s wife, I connect as a peer. Since the New Jersey State PBA and Ken Burkert, a model of compassion as a suicide survivor, came on the scene in a big way in 2008, we have since been blessed to have honor guards, union reps and other leaders join us as we walk in reflection. This year I had a widow I could not wait to meet; someone who I had communicated with after her loss, and I knew she was an amazing, resilient woman who deserved to be supported in her first walk “out of the darkness.” She came a distance to make it there, and as we texted and called I finally saw her. The hug was a powerful grace-filled moment for us both. Another widow led a courageous team of survivors reflecting on her loss last year and her spirit was strong even though the light in her eyes was dimmed. When I introduced them, these two women connected in ways that were visible in grief, survival and in compassion for each other. Moments like these make the statement “I loved the suicide survivor walk” seem a little saner as a comment because the sadness of the losses are overcome by the compassion and the courage of those left behind: wives, friends, partners, brothers, mothers, friends, the groups with shirts and signs and photos look like the cheering section for the life of the person lost to suicide. Team “Fill-in-the-blank” remembered their loved one and that loss transformed their hearts in a way that I pray allows for more love and compassion eventually. Compassion was contagious on Oct. 5, and I hope it will be in the days and weeks that follow. Mason Cooley said, “Compassion brings us to a stop, and for a moment we rise above ourselves.” Let’s rise. d www.njcopsmagazine.com ■ OCTOBER 2015 55